whats it all about? i dont give a crap!

Friday, May 30, 2008

Someone give me a gun and access to John Barrowman please!

I went to see "Friday night with Jonathan Ross" being filmed last night, pretty good show, Mark Wahlberg was adorable, Kirsty Young was husky in heels and Andrew Lloyd Webber was foppish with a face that was hanging like a pair of wet curtains but John "did i mention i have a big cock" Barrowman was so annoying!! He suffers from the Tom Cruise over exaggerated fake laugh syndrome and was coming up with the worst innuendo ever! "My ring is too big for your finger" "Ooh i dont like pussy" - Queer please!!!! he is a shithead, shithead, shithead.

Jonathan Ross was fantastic though and I do have a new found respect for the man, He came across as really down to earth and chatty and genuinely funny. I am grateful to Oliver for getting the tickets especially for this particular show - as next weeks guests are Robbie Coltrane, some gardening woman off the telly and possibly Andy Murray - now that would have been a tad disappointing to say the least.

So Naomi Campbell is facing 6 months in jail for assault, lock her up I say!! Hopefully it wont be the usual celeb stint in jail, most of them barely get time to put their bags down, spending as much time in jail as I would in a sports shop - am sure she would be fine, who is gonna fuck with Naomi, then again I doubt she will have a phone or laptop to throw at anyone - well good luck girl.




I am just going to file this next picture in the "What the fuck" section of my brain.




She looks like a second hand doll you would find discarded on the floor in dalston market. tragic.

Well this weekend is all a bit of a mystery, not sure what is happening with who and when but I am sure it will be fantastic, fantastic, fantastic

xx

Thursday, May 29, 2008

Well people in the glamorous business that we call show, there is no rest for the fabulous so tonight I am off to watch "Friday night with Jonathan Ross" being filmed. His guests this week are Andrew Lloyd Webber, John Barrowman and Marky Mark Wahlberg. There is a rather rude link between these 3 stars. Lloyd Webber's ex wife Sarah Brightman famously disclosed on the Graham Norton show that Lloyd Webber had a very big willy, John Barrowman talks about his rather sizeable schlong all the time and Mark Wahlberg played Dirk Diggler in the movie "Boogie Nights" and Diggler's meat and 2 veg could have been a solo harvest festival! A full report tomorrow.

As I mentioned earlier this week I went to see the band "Scouting for Girls" at the Shepherd's Bush Empire, they played most of their debut album including a bonus track that any heteosexual man in his mid to late 20's/early 30's will be able to relate to, it is a unrequited love song to the TV presenter Michaela Strachan who set many boy's hearts and groins a flutter. I have to admit as a flaming mo I felt slightly left out of the passion of this song, thankfully with a slight re wording I have managed to come up with a version better suited to me. Michaela was not the only hottie on "The Really Wild Show", no I am not talking about Terry Nutkins but the rather lovely Chris Packham - this about sums my childhood feelings for him



I turned on the telly
When i got home from school
He was there in his wellies
And a yellow cagoule
You opened my eyes
To the birds and the bees
I loved you so
My really wild show
On the BBC

Mr Chris Packham you broke my heart
Mr Chris Packham you tore me apart
Mr Chris Packham you broke my heart
When I was twelve

It aint gonna happen
For me and the Packham

I used to want to be a vet
Just so I'd see you one day
You put in the meaning to "why good day"

I found myself working
In a shop at sixteen
It never stopped hurting
To miss you on TV
I'll always remember all the times that we had
You helped me to sleep
I fancied you heaps
And so did my dad!!!!!??????

Mr Chris Packham you broke my heart
Mr Chris Packham you tore me apart
Mr Chris Packham you broke my heart
When I was twelve



ok so he aint that cute but i was young and naive

xx

Wednesday, May 28, 2008

Whilst flicking through the latest copy of OK! Magazine yesterday I happened upon the "column" written by my arch nemesis - Kerry "just get the baby out of me i wanna fag" Katona. Turning the page to see her spot ridden, giro moisturised fugly face gurning back at me was enough to bring up my Boots meal deal. I don't want to go into too much detail about the mutterings of the Iceland one but she does seem rather chuffed that her one year old daughter Heidi said the word "shit" the other day, apparently Kerry did not teach her the word, it was in fact her Aunt Pat.

I do have to wonder in what context this word was used in front of a small child, Did Aunt Pat look up from her compact mirror with her rolled up benefits slip hanging out of her nostril saying "that is some good shit" or was it Aunt Pat telling Kerry that her dubious husband is a "lying, house burgling shit" or had she just finished reading Kerry's latest "novel" - The Footballer's Wife and simply said "Sis your book is a stinking pile of horse shit"

Maybe we will never know, maybe Kerry will never know .......the answer to the question "1 + 1"

Well after months of waiting and pant wetting anticipation the day has finally arrived, Sex and the City - The Movie is finally out today!!! I am saving myself for the weekend to see it but the excitement is getting to me, although they seem to have plugged this film everywhere, you can't open a magazine or go in a perfume section without the word sex molesting your eyes. I can kinda see why some people are over it before it has begun, thankfully I will not be one of them, I intend to see this film quite a few times in the next few weeks!!

Am very sad today to hear of the passing of a colleague of mine. Paul Patrick who was the co-chair of an organisation called "Schools Out" and one of the founders of Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender History Month died last thursday after a long battle with a severe lung condition, he was only 58. Paul campaigned tirelessly for the rights of LGBT young people and teachers in schools and the creation of LGBT history month ensured that many issues affecting LGBT young people in schools were highlighted. I do hope that his hard work and passion will carry on in the hearts of those who worked with him.

xx

Tuesday, May 27, 2008

Well another Bank Holiday has swept by! Mine was spent at Hargate Hall in the Peak District. It was Melanie and Adrian's wedding, yes after the stag do and the hen weekend comes the wedding and I have to say it was beautiful. The area was lovely and thankfully the sunhine smiled upon us for the outdoor ceremony on Saturday. Here is a pic of Hargate Hall which was the perfect location, surrounded by gorgeous scenery.




The ceremony was lovely, with poetry readings, violin playing and the groom struggling to get through his vows through the tears (what is it about a man crying? It always sets me off - crying that is), after the vows it turned to a slightly more unconventional ceremony with everyone singing "Puff the Magic Dragon" accompanied by a guy in a dragon suit, the lesson learned here is people should not get drunk and suggest songs for a wedding.

The rest of the day went really well, the food was lush and the speeches were great, bravo to Oliver for nailing his! Much drinking and dancing followed until the early hours - Thankfully we had a dvd player in our room so a Sex and the City marathon made sunday and the hangover bearable. I travelled home yesterday and slept nearly all the way.

It's a good job I did get that rest as I headed straight to Tony's to dump my stuff before having beers with him and Camilla. Our powers of persuasion led to Tony buying a ticket from a tout and coming to see "Scouting for Girls" with us at the Shepherds Bush Empire, They had 2 support acts, the first being a band called "Go Audio" who were really great and got the (very young) crowd jumping, they were followed by a band called "Clocks" who were a bit subdued and a bit pants really. Finally it was time for the main act and they did not disappoint, pretty much singing their entire debut album with a few new songs thrown in, the held the crowd really well. I think they are playing the V Festival so I look forward to seeing them again in a few months.

Very sad to hear that Oscar winning director/producer and actor Sydney Pollack has lost his battle against cancer at the age of 72, He won Oscars for directing and producing "Out of Africa" starring Meryl Streep, I know him best as Dustin Hoffman's agent in the amazing classic "Tootsie", In the last few years he had been involved in production on films such as Cold Mountain and The Interpreter, He also played the role of Will's father in "Will and Grace".




xx

Thursday, May 22, 2008

One day I am saying she looks awful the next I am saying she looks fabulous - don't go calling me indecisive!!

Last night Madonna attended the premiere of her Malawi documentary film "I am because we are" at the Cannes Film Festival with Sharon Stone and she looked 100% the star we know and love, check her out!!!







and here are a few stills from the video for the 2nd single taken from the marvellous Hard Candy album! its track 3 - "Give It To Me"







The Bank Holiday is upon us again and tomorrow I am popping on the pippy jet and heading to Buxton for a wedding, yes after the stag and hen do they are having a wedding too!!! I am lookin forward to it - the weather forecast for London this weekend is not good but in Buxton apparently the sun will be shining. I got a text from the bride to be this morning asking if I could bring a Jackson 5 cd with me.....cut to me doing a really bad "I Want You Back" dance routine whilst the wedding guests look on whispering under their breaths "oh how original - a gay man doing a dance routine" - you better believe it bitches! step 2, 3, kick, spin and grapevine!

I have to keep mopping my seat at work! In just 6 days the Sex and the City film is released and I just have to keep screaming at the thought of seeing my girls back together, Carrie narating those infamous words "and then i got to thinking", Miranda not quite looking as good as the others but making the most of being ginger, Charlotte clapping intercourse and Samantha making the word "dick" last a whole scene - bring on the cock....tails and heels.

Have a marvellous Bank Holiday and I shall return on Tuesday after celebrating all things heterosexual

xxxx

Wednesday, May 21, 2008

Muchos apologies in the blog delay!!

Well I went to see Girls Aloud on friday with Pete and I have to say they were not as good as I expected them to be. I think this was mainly due to the horrific sound at the o2 arena. It kinda sounded like a tinny radio and don't tell me those girls can't sing!! Dare we forget watching each of them sing live every week in the run up to the formation of the band. They all looked fabulous and they did a great entrance but I was left feeling a bit blue.

After the show we hopped over to Walthamstow to see Kaz and Tolu and proceeded to get well and truly shitfaced, talking about everything and nothing. Cut to me waking up in their spare room and doing the walk of shame back home. Ran round the flat with my feather duster just in time for Tony arriving and bless him he had bought a fine selection of booze with him and had even been questioned by the man in Tesco about the way his lifestyle was going!! whats wrong with buying 4 cans of Kronenbourg, a half bottle of vodka and a bottle of rose wine?? A pre dinner tipple in my eyes.

I introduced Tony to the wonderful 1st series of Gavin and Stacey which thankfully was much enjoyed, We then headed over to the lovely Paul's to celebrate his birthday after collecting more drink on the way which included a can of red bull with a miniature bottle of Tequila poured in for the bus journey. After a few glasses there we headed over to the bizarre gay night aka Unskinny Bop, much fun was had by all and I ended up leading the people outside in a sing a long to "I know him so well" - I only remembered this the day after!! boo!!

Sunday was spent drinking pints slightly slower and pondering on life and shit. I have been quite ill since then....not all booze related, I had some wierd stomach bug thing that would not shift. I caught up on some dvd's including Martin Scorcese's "The Departed" - absolutely amazing film, Leo Dicaprio is genius in it and Jack Nicholson shines as always. I then watched "Deja Vu" starring Denzel Washington and Val Kilmer - it has to be the most confusing film I have ever seen! leaping back and forth in time in a ridiculous plot was just too much, I managed to get through it but my head hurt afterwards!

Well no sooner has Ellen Degeneres announced her wedding to girlfriend Portia De Rossi, the stupid people of America have started kicking off comparing gay marriage to polygamy, suggesting that announcing her wedding on air could lead to her top rated multi award winning show being cancelled but the classic stupid quote goes to.....Fox TV Overnight host Greg Gutfeld

"Ms Degeneres should keep her wedding plans to herself, it is the equivalent of discussing bowel movements on air"

hmm, like the bowel movement your mouth just made then Greg?

Also in big gay Californian marriages - Mr Solu of Star Treak fame aka George Takei has announced he is to wed his partner of 21 years Brad Altman - It would be far too easy to make some sexual innuendo laden star trek catchphrase here but I, for once, aint stooping that low.



Now Madonna - I have stuck with you through thick and thin, I have defended many of your career choices in the music industry, it is rare that i defend your film career mainly due to the fact that I am not made of steel. Now Madge I know as do many others that you have worked your body harder than I have worked bar men's nerves in Soho but honey I don't need to see it all, this will just not do!



I never thought it would happen but the great Ms Tina Turner is going back on the road, She is performing at the 02 arena and the Manchester Evening News Arena early next year. I have always loved Tina, thanks to my parents raising me on her music and recording her concerts etc, She may be getting on in years but I am sure her show will be amazing. I need to see this concert!!



Right bitches I have a launch to get to and that champagne won't drink itself

xx

Friday, May 16, 2008

I love the nightlife!!

Woo-hoo!!! There is so much going on today I don't know where to start.....Oh yes I do! I am going to see Madonna!!!! Thanks to Oliver for booking tickets this morning I am seeing her at Wembley Stadium on 11th September, As is Dan, Richard, Peter, Kaz and Tolu! I am so taking the thursday and friday off and getting well and truly mashed up for my queen!! Cannot wait!

Also tonight I have a last minute surprise night out - Peter had a spare ticket to see those foxy chick's - Girls Aloud at the o2 Arena so tonight I am going to be listening to the sounds of the underground and doing something kinda ooooh! woop woop - the weekend is here!!




Happy Birthday to the lovely Paul who turns 47 today! Looking good on it I must say dear. Have a lovely day and I shall see you tomorrow for a slight bit of drinking.

Great news that Ellen Degeneres has announced on live tv that she is going to marry her partner of 4 years Portia de Rossi - as one lesbian relationship fails another starts, just the way god and kd lang intended.



I was watching Dylan Moran last night and I stand by the fact that the guy is a comedy genius - his take on religion had me in hysterics, comparing anyone who is devoutly religious as being similar to a child with an imaginary friend, even world leaders

"Mr President should we fire the missile or not"

"Hang on let me just check - God should we fire the missile??"

"He says yes!!"



Now usually on a Friday I pop some hottie up on this blog but today is slightly different, let's just say it's an acquired taste - sometimes I am quite attracted to "Silver Foxes" aka men that are ever so slightly older but still have something about them - today I am quite keen on the CNN news reporter and alleged homo - Anderson Cooper, there is just something about him.



Anyways, apologies if that has upset your stomach but it is my blog after all

Have a lovely weekend

xxx

Thursday, May 15, 2008

Last night I took myself to the cinema to see the film "Forgetting Sarah Marshall" starring Jason Segel and Russell Brand.




The basic plot of the film is that Peter (Jason Segel) is going out with TV actress Sarah Marshall (Kristin Bell) but she falls out of love with him and dumps him rather cruelly and starts going out with Aldous Snow (Russell Brand - long story short all 3 end up going on holiday to Hawaii, Peter meets a very stunning receptionist called Rachel (Mila Kunis) and lots of jealousy and funny bumping into each other scenes follow. It's a sweet little film, Russell Brand is basically playing himself but does manage to get away with good british humour without putting on a stupid accent or being OTT. Jason Segel is really rather adorable and I did find myself falling for his character quite badly. All in all a nice distraction after a long day at work.

It's a sad day in the world of celebrity lesbian love - It is being reported today that Jodie Foster has spilt with her girlfriend Cydney Bernard after 14 years together, the couple have 2 children - Charlie aged 9 and Kit aged 6. Heres hoping they can sort this one out amicably or it will be handbags (bowling bags?) at dawn.

Kerry "I am a cunt" Katona has revealed her post baby body just four weeks after giving birth, apparently she has lost 3 stone (she must have a very good dealer). Is it just me or does she actually look like she is breathing in to the point of pain in this picture and what a lovely ensemble - it's amazing what you can find rifling through the bin bags left outside charity shops at 5 am in the morning.



Can I now refer you to a true star who manages to do things the right way.



Here is the sublime Cate Blanchett in Armani at the opening night of the Cannes Film Festival last night, also showing off her figure just 4 weeks after giving birth, now that is how it's done, Kerry I know that you are not a beautiful, talented international movie star....end of sentence.

Cate is in Cannes to promote the new Indiana Jones film, I was never that into Indiana Jones, I can remember "Raiders of the Lost Ark" scaring the bejeezus out of me. I have to admit to loving the 2nd film "Temple of Doom" not because of the action filled scenes or plot but mainly because of Harrison Ford's chest, I also wanted to be the Maharajah because he was camp as tits and wore lots of jewels - I was only 8 at the time!!




xx

Wednesday, May 14, 2008

Just when I thought it was safe to start watching television again they bring back "Gladiators" - this show was god awful the first time round but now it's back - Sky One has described the new bunch as "modern day heroes" who are "bigger, badder and better than ever before" - oh dear



I was looking at pictures of them in a magazine on saturday and could not help but feel slightly sorry for one of the female "heroes", the other girls names include enigma, ice, inferno and panther, these are all fine and sound ok but god knows how one of them felt when they heard their name was going to be "Battleaxe" - that's a bit harsh isn't it? poor love, it makes her sound like a cross between Margaret Thatcher and Anne Widdecombe.




Well I am feeling pretty good this week, It's my 2nd day of not smoking!! I have tried to quit smoking more times than I can remember and it's always been rather disastrous but this time I really want to stick with it, it's got to the point where I know way more non smokers than smokers and it really makes me feel quite gross to spark up in front of people or have to stagger outside to stand in the street puffing away. I also suffer from asthma and smoking just clogs me up and next thing you know I wake up wheezing - sexy!!

I am off to the cinema tonight, this week is dragging, I am not sleeping well and I just want to watch a shallow meaningless film to take my mind to a different place. No subtitles, no trauma - just predictable humour and pretty faces please.

What is going on with the lovely and always slightly wrecked Colin Farrell? a couple of years ago he was truly beautiful but now it's like looking at a different person Hurricane Higgins anyone? - maybe he has lost all this weight for a role? method or madness?





oh and one more thing

AMY NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!



xx

Tuesday, May 13, 2008

Well that's just fabulous!

Last night was the world premiere of "Sex and the City - The Movie" at the Odeon, Leicester Square. I hopped on the tube after work and met Oliver to see if we could catch a glimpse of the girls but there was no chance, people had been waiting all day and they were not moving! So we just went and got ever so slightly shitfaced in Soho.

The girls all looked amazing though and stayed signing autographs for over an hour!! so jealous!!!!!!! I am now going to become a recluse for the next 2 weeks - If anyone tells me what happens in this film I will pop a cork in their ass!







I woke up this morning yet again feeling scared to be in this city following the news that a 22 year old man was stabbed to death outside Macdonalds on Oxford St yesterday afternoon. This city is getting out of control and I don't believe anyone knows what to do about it. We are now living in a culture of fear where no one dares say anything to anyone due to the thought of being screamed at, attacked, stabbed or shot. My mother is always enquiring as to when I am going to leave London for somewhere cheaper and safer but I don't think that will fix things for me. Most of the crime is very specific and mainly between young people. I guess if we carry on treating young people like criminals that is how they are going to behave, as a rebellion or because there is nothing else to do.

Well I am going to make the most of the sun, its going to chuck it down towards the end of the week - boo!!

xx

Monday, May 12, 2008

Who died and made some northern lezza the oracle of gay language?

I got sent a report last week about violence against young gays in Manchester. I am not taking the piss and making jokes about homophobia because that is serious business and I am totally behind any initiatives to combat it. However, this report actually has a glossary that defines all the offensive terms - yeah that makes sense if someone can't think of a homophobic term to shout - the gays in Manchester have come up with a list to help you out.

The problem is the definitions are stupid, they don't make any sense and some of them just go too far

Exhibit A - fudge packer - now I assume most people who have heard this term or used this term know what it means but just in case you would like to use this in the future, here is the definition - "a man who has sex with a man who compresses faeces in the act of anal sex

Well firstly eeeewwwww!!! whose idea was it to include "faeces", lets just put the message across that all sex betweenmen gets a bit messy which is untrue, a great deal of gay men don't even like or have anal sex.

Exhibit B - Faggot - Personally i hate this word and find it to be venomous and hateful but lets check the definition - "sometimes used to refer to faggots (the food) which can look testicular in appearance"......what the fuck??? erm no.

Exhibit C - Limp Wristed - lets just go straight to the definition on this one, I have a feeling whoever wrote this was smoking some "special" cigarettes when they came up with this one - "a term and an action (to bend the hand at the wrist) used to imply someone is gay. Usually to imply that they are feminine/like a woman. The limp also implies weakness as well as a flaccid/non erect penis" - since when does limp wristed have anything to do with cocks? So next time I get an erection I must remember to high five someone!

Exhibit D - Uphill Gardener - "a term that refers to the act of anal sex that conjures up images of anal penetration and faeces (as a mud/soil analogy) - STOP SAYING FAECES!!!

Exhibit E - Greedy - "A term used by the heterosexual and LGBT community to imply that bisexual people are greedy and want to have sex with lots of people of both sexes" - right first of all don't define the word by just repeating the word, secondly they have said "LGBT" so are they suggesting that bisexual people are calling themselves greedy (oh if you didn't know already greedy means greedy)

and finally Exhibit F - Lemon - "a term referring to oral sex between women (sucking a lemon) which implies something bitter or unsavoury about the sexual act or a woman's vaginal fluids" - it does not mean that at all, it just starts with the same 2 first letters of the word lesbian, since when do you suck a minge?

This is the most stupid thing I have ever received at work and I can't believe they are sending it out, they have obviously thought it through well due to the majority of young people's agencies having firewalls, the offensive language used means it is being blocked everywhere - genius!!!

xx

fun fun fun in the sun sun sun

Well darlings!! what a ass spankingly fabulous weekend! How gorgeous was the weather? Friday night I popped out for a work leaving do which was very well attended ....and I thought most people hated the guy but I guess it was a safe bet to get loads of people if you organised your leaving do on the hottest friday of the year in a bar with a large outdoor area!

Following that I headed into town to meet Oliver for a couple of gay drinks before heading up to Camden to meet Julia and Laura - I didn't think i drank too much but I woke up on saturday feeling like one of Kerry Katona's children - in severe pain, slightly embarassed and clueless about how I had ended up feeling so hellish. After a very quiet morning and reflection and water I hauled my ass to London Fields to meet Peter and a few other gay boys for a picnic (sweets, heat magazine, sausage rolls and 214723 bottles of Magners), It was such a lovely way to spend the day - after a few hours we headed home via a lovely pub called the Spurstowe Arms in Hackney, Full of trendies and girls who thought they were in "Sex and the City" - yeah right girls only if the city is Coventry!.

Saturday night was a lazy one, drinking all day in the sun had made me very tired so I had an early night and hoped for a good nights sleep....cut to 1.30am and my housemate came home with what seemed like a pub full of people. They were so frikkin loud but somehow I managed to sleep through most if it.....cut to 5.30am and my alleged LESBIAN housemate was saying goodbye to some bloke at the front door (which is right by my room) - this goodbye lasted about half an hour and included kissing and some of the most drunken, stupid conversation I have ever heard, a couple of months ago my housemate's father died which is obviously very sad but this guy was so manipulating her feelings on the doorstep and tapping into her vulnerability, the quote of the whole session from this guy had to be

"you might be an orphan love but you aint an unwanted orphan!"

Oh my god, just fuck off!!!! (I didn't actually say that but it was running through my head at a great volume) Thankfully after a while he went back home to his 4 kids!!!!!! I managed to get myself back to sleep in a state of disbelief.

Yesterday I had a lazy start to the day with the papers, croissants, coffee and summer music. At one point is it acceptable to start on the Magners again? that was my main question - i opted for 1.30pm, the fact I only got up at 11.30am means nothing. I eventually left the house just after 3pm and headed over to Shepherd's Bush to spend some time with Tony and Anna just catching up and drinking lots of wine, all good and a great end to the weekend.

Today I am at work with a bitter taste in my mouth. This is due to the fact that tonight the world premiere of "Sex and the City - The Movie" is happening at the Odeon Cinema in Leicester Square. One of the managers at work bagged himself 2 tickets and despite the fact that it was my idea to blag tickets, that i have had a SATC screensaver on my computer for months and that it is my favourite show of all time - he is taking his boyfriend, yes they are going to be walking down the red carpet, probably air kissing the girls and trying on each other's heels, I meanwhile will be at home, crying and questioning my existence.

This week is looking to be a quiet one, mainly due to a severe lack of funds - I shall be living in the cinema again but thankfully there are loads of good films out, it just seems a shame to be sat in the cinema in weather like this, if only beer gardens had free beer fountains!!

xx

Friday, May 09, 2008

Advice for the young at heart?

Every week I say I am going to resist the urge to purchase Heat magazine and I fail almost always. This week you got a free copy of More magazine with Heat so really it was quite a bargain. One particular article caught my eye, it was basically giving girls tips on how to get the attention of their computer game addicted boyfriends - it had the usual cook his favourite meal, offer to take him down the pub to watch a footie match (and they say feminism is dead!) the last tip in this wholesome magazine was to simply "go down on him" - I love that we are now telling young women that they have to bow down to their boyfriends needs just to get any form of attention. yes girls not only does the magazine tell you that you are too fat, that you need to wear more make up but now you also have to gag on your fella's meat, well I guess that's one way of dieting.

Oh boo, yesterday I had a job interview which went really well, I was quite fierce having spent the day listening and watching Madonna for some power inspiration, I answered all the questions well and covered everything that needed covering but alas someone was actually better and I didn't get the job. They called to let me know last night and for a few minutes I was a bit depressed and bitter, As i walked on I mentally slapped myself out of it. What have I actually got to complain about? I already have a really decent job, my personal life is going really well, I am living in the joyfest that is London, I have a nice place to live and my friends are a bowl full of loveliness. All in all life at the moment is worth smiling about and these little things are just sent to teach us more. Bring on the weekend and more happy times.

Our gracious leader has announced the first dates of her world tour!! The tour is called the "The Sticky and Sweet Tour" - how delicious is that. It kicks off at the Millenium Stadium in Cardiff on 23rd August and hits Wembley Stadium on the 11th September. I can't wait, tickets go on sale next friday!!!!




Sometimes I think about Americans and just shake my head in disbelief, I know that not all Americans are stupid but they do seem to have a rather concentrated amount of idiots polluting the streets with their brain farts. Every year a list is compiled of the most complained about books in American Libraries, included in this years top 10 are "The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn" for alleged racism, Phillip Pullman's "The Golden Compass (Anti-religious) but at number one, the book that has got people writhing in anger and taking to the streets - "And tango makes three" - its a childrens book based on a true story of Roy and Silo, 2 male penguins at New Yorks Central Park Zoo. They attempted to hatch a rock, which was replaced by a rejected egg from a mixed gender couple by zookeepers. They then adopted the baby penguin Tango as their own. The book is accused of promoting homosexuality and being 'anti-family' as well as unsuitable for its age group......It's a story about gay penguins for fucks sake you stupid brain dead morons! What exactly are people worried about? that their child might decide to be gay and fuck a penguin? that the 2 gay penguins will bizarrely create a baby gay penguin that will vogue out of it's cage and run riot around Manhatten going to see musicals and finishing all it's sentences with punchlines? Let's get things into perspective people - can we get the new president sorted out and then we can focus all our attention on a children's picture book.



There are rumours that Heather " I would cross the street to slap her" Mills is hoping to take part on the celebrity version of "The Apprentice" in America. I think she would be rather good at raising cash and working it, Oh no hang on a minute - 2 of the beatles are dead and I think Ringo Starr is not her type so she can't just fuck for money anymore. Back to the drawing board you vile cold sore on the face of humanity.




I don't watch the TV show "Heroes" but have still managed to fall in love with one of the shows stars. He is just adorable! It's the lovely Milo Ventimiglia. Just yum!






Well this weekend is looking promising, drinks tonight after work and then the rest of the weekend is free to soak up the sun!!

Have a great one people!! Back next week

xxx

Wednesday, May 07, 2008

Clash of the Diva's

I am not sure how Paris coped last night, no not Paris Hilton aka cocksucking layabout. No Paris, France - slap her she's french, serge gainsbourg, croissants and joe le taxi etc. Last night Madonna performed her 2nd album launch show in Paris at the Olympia Hall, sadly there was no Justin Timberlake this time round but she did manage to neck some champagne and partake in a little bit of lady loving.



Also in Paris last night Ms Kylie Minogue performed the 1st night of her 2008 tour at the Bercy Stadium in front of 10,000 fans. I haven't got tickets to see her this time round, not sure why, I have seen her last 3 tours and had a good time at each one, especially the showgirl tour which took my asthmatic breath away. Anyways she looks stunning in these pics and the new album is muchos funos so am sure it will be a fun night out for all.





It never ceases to amaze me how the weather imapcts on peoples mood's. The last few days have been bloody lovely and it looks set to improve with saturday being a scorcher!! I must make beer garden plans immediately!! I am actually going to attempt a quiet weekend as they have been few and far between of late, however the weather may drag me out of my shell and put me in the mood for fun!

Back on friday, top up your tans people!

xx

Tuesday, May 06, 2008

Let the sunshine, Let the sunshine in!

What an amazingly gorgeous bank holiday weekend! I escaped up to Wasdale in the Lake District on friday, I had never really experienced the Lake District before but it is such a beautiful part of the country and genuinely took my breath away! I was there for my friend Mel's hen weekend. We had been told we were staying in a stone tent which was basically a converted barn with basic supplies in it - here is a pic of our humble abode for the weekend and the view we had of Wasdale






Friday night we headed to the pub for a gorgeous meal and a few pints before going home ready for our adventurous saturday!! Yes we were going to Go Ape, as i explained before in the blog it's a high wire adventure course, I aint good with heights but I have to say I absolutely loved it, there were a few shaky moments but I got stuck in and even went on the extreme version of the course, here are a few pics from the website with examples of what was going on.





After 4 hours of that we headed back to the barn slightly battered and bruised, we then got the beers and barbecue going and had an 80's party with 80's music and games, I was in charge of making the cocktails and they were quite lethal - maybe the absinthe was not such a good idea. Sunday morning we were all slightly worse for wear but managed to get our waterproofs on for a walk down to the lake which was quite lovely til the heavens opened - I don't deal well with mud!

Yesterday we left our barn and headed into Manchester for a few beers on Canal St, perfect end to a perfect weekend!

I am very glad I was out of London this weekend! I missed the drama and severe disappointment of Boris Johnson being elected Mayor of London. I could not believe the result, kinda makes me ashamed to be living in this city, plus the fact that a BNP member was voted onto the London Assembly - nightmare!! I just think Boris is a joke! Over the next four years all eyes will be on London with the run up to the Olympics and who do we have representing us on an international level - a twat! shame shame shame. Time will tell what difference the idiot makes but it does not bode well for the gays in this city at all.



I have an apology to make - the lovely Richard has pointed out a mistake on my blog! Kylie actually did do the Geisha look twice before Madonna - oops sorry although it does mean that Kylie has now done the geisha look 3 times but who is counting?

Enough of this writing! I am off to play in the sunshine!!!!

xxxx