whats it all about? i dont give a crap!

Monday, October 27, 2008

It takes a lot to shock me, I have been out and proud for half my life and in that time have had the privilege to have met many bizarre and wonderful people from extremely diverse and fascinating backgrounds. I am lucky to have friends and family that have totally supported me in whatever I do and my sexuality has never really been a major issue. I move in circles that are very open minded and accepting, every once in a while though I find something out that just leaves me at a loss for words. Yesterday I went to the shop to get my usual sunday reading matter - a trashy tabloid and the Observer, made myself a huge cup of coffee and curled up on the sofa to catch up on the weeks events.

Yesterday The Observer released the findings of their sex survey. The survey was carried out by an independent research agency who recruited 1044 people aged 16 or over and asked them questions on all different aspects of sex. The answers were split into different sections such as manhood and manogamy, safe sex, ethnicity and education and homosexuality. I managed to stop myself from going straight to the gay bit but eventually I got that far and could not believe what I was reading - 56% of people did not believe that gays should be allowed to adopt children, 40% believed that the age of consent for gay people should be higher than for heterosexuals and this is the clincher 24% thought that gay sex should be made illegal - that's one in 4 people! and that figure has increased by 1% since the last survey in 2002. Just to think that there are people in this country who would like to see me locked up is just unbelievable and very sad. I don't know how they got these people for the survey and I just pray that this is not representative of the general populations views.

On a lighter note - unless you have been hiding under a rock or a cock for the last few days you can't have missed the fuss over the Kerry Katona/This Morning interview where due to her "bi polar medication/sleeping tablets", Kerry slurred her way through the interview and was asked by Phillip Schofield if she was ok several times. It really was car crash TV - since then Kerry has of course taken the higher ground and branded Schofield as "ignorant and arrogant" for failing to understand her illness - sweetie I think even dogs would have been watching that asking the questions he put to you. She goes on repetitively to say ""He was out of order. Saying I was drunk is ignorant and arrogant." - Yeah hon, He never said you were drunk, maybe you were too pissed to remember? I do have to admit that it is sad to see someone in such a state and that husband of hers should never have even taken her to the studio in that state but I guess having £ signs for eyes blurs his judgement slightly.

On saturday I met up with Oliver and picked out my 1st ever pair of glasses. It's such a good job Oliver was there as god knows what I would have ended up with but I pick them up next week and they are a very nice pair of Dolce and Gabbana's. I am not sure if I will just wear them for work and reading but I guess they will take some time to get used to - I can guarantee that even more people will be saying "ooh you look like Simon Pegg!"

Yet again I have a ever so slight moist feeling in the genital area and I am not talking about discharge! I regularly check what's coming up in the West End Theatreland and 2 of my favourite actors/sexy men are starring together - James McAvoy and Nigel Harman are due to appear in Richard Greenberg's play "3 days of rain" at the Apollo Theatre from February. Bring it!






This week is exceptionally busy! I am off to Glasgow for the 1st time which should be fun, I am mainly going for work but also am meeting up with a few people whilst I am there to discover all the joys that Glasgow has to offer. I shall report all when I get back.

Sorry for the rather sporadic blogging lately but my workload has gone through the roof and I am actually getting stuff done!!

xx

Tuesday, October 21, 2008

So Sarah Palin has stated that she supports the federal ban on same sex marriage - shocking! God I hate thatwoman!! In her latest interview with the Christian Broadcasting Network she has said -

"I have voted along with the vast majority of Alaskans who had the opportunity to vote to amend our Constitution defining marriage as between one man and one woman," she said.
"I wish on a federal level that's where we would go. I don't support gay marriage."

Well I guess it's not exactly surprising coming from a woman who hasn't really seen the world, Maybe Michael Palin would be more suitable for Vice President, he has actually been to other countries for a start.

So on the front cover of this weeks OK! Magazine is my favourite celebrity turd impersonator - Kerry Katona - the headline reads "I have had pints of fat sucked out" - Too much information Kerry! Why could there not have been a liposuction machine malfunction? So that by the end of the procedure all that would be left was a few Iceland vouchers and your implants! Vile, Vile, Vile woman - oh and now she has done a naked photoshoot for Zoo magazine - quite appropriate I thought but it turns out it's the men's magazine not just a zoo magazine with lots of other animals in it.

On the front of Heat Magazine we have Peaches "honest to god, will someone please sit me down and tell me why I am famous besides having a face that looks like I am constantly blowing a raspberry" Geldof stating that she doesn't expect her marriage to last forever - shocking again! and may I say a really great message to put out to the youth of today, oh just get married for the hell of it, you can always get divorced and married again and then divorced etc etc - what a wonderfully fragmented life that will lead to - not that I am judging at all, god forbid!

xx

Monday, October 20, 2008

Spoilt Pippy!

Hi Bitches,

Well what a great weekend I just had! Usually the weekend before pay day is spent crying on the sofa, jumping for joy when I discover small change in an old pocket. However, on saturday Oliver came over with bags and bags of goodies!! It was an early birthday/xmas surprise that included beautifully wrapped multivitamins to ensure that I have another birthday after this one! A fab red/black checked shirt that fits like a glove and a bottle of champers!! but wait - there were 2 gifts still to open, the first was a French and Saunders DVD with......2 tickets to see the comedy duo that very night!!! yay!!! the next envelope intrigued me as I really thought that was more than enough but I opened it to find 2 tickets to see Sarah Silverman last night! Big thankyou to Oliver for making this weekend so so so much fun - I am well and truly comedied out!




French and Saunders were great, a even mix of old clips on a big screen mixed with classic and new sketches including the original sketch that inspired Absolutely Fabulous and loads of bitching between the 2 about Ab Fab versus Vicar of Dibley. Ending the show with the disgusting sleazy fat men with cocks!!! I am so glad that I finally got to see them before they say farewell forever!

Yesterday was a lazy day of watching dvd's and drinking. Late afternoon we headed over to Hammersmith for Ms Silverman, The show was sold out and Hammersmith Apollo was rammed, due to technical problems the start was delayed and they were not letting people into the theatre so it was a bit stressful being crushed against so many disgruntled comedy fans. Finally we were let in and on she came, Her timing and delivery was amazing and her jokes were disgusting, politically incorrect and totally offensive - I loved every minute!

Lines including

"I have had an Abortion, well abortions and it's one of the top 50 most difficult decisions a woman has to make"

"Scientology is so gay...and i don't mean that in a bad way, when i say gay, i mean retarded"

Talking about Barack Obama, she said she was concerned that America would not elect a half black president "Oh i shouldn't be so pessimistic - he's half white"




The only problem was that she was on for less than an hour and there was some jeering from the crowd but I loved every minute of it and repeatedly raised my hands to my mouth in shock at some of the things she was saying.

Well it's going to be a busy week at work but at least it's pay day on friday! I am finally going to buy my glasses on saturday - I guess this is a really rather dull birthday present to myself - the gift of sight, I am like a gay jesus or something

xx

Friday, October 17, 2008

Greetings

Very interesting article by writer Paul Burston in this weeks Boyz Magazine (yes we gays have such groundbreaking titles for our weekly publications), Burston has written an article about the recent gay hate crime attacks that have gone widely unreported in the mainstream media. I have written about several of these attacks recently including the murder of Michael Causer in Liverpool and the stabbing of a gay guy in Hackney which left him paralysed. Burston also reports that one of his facebook friends was beaten up on Old Compton Street (the gayest street in the London) a few weeks ago - the police told him that was the 5th homophobic attack that week. God forbid that we should ever read about these things - knife crime is a major problem unless of course the victim happens to be gay.

For once I read an interesting article in "The London Paper" this week, basically every weekday a reader sends in a short blog style article and readers vote on whether they think the writer should write for the paper. This particular article was very emotive and had a massive response with 98% of readers saying they wanted more. The article was written by a 29 yr old straight guy who had recently visited a prostitute due to his lack of success with women stating that -

"I'm a geat guy, I'm in my 20's, healthy and fit, well educated, intelligent , caring, thoughtful and a good person, but I'm no Brad Pitt, and that's the deal breaker.

Yes I'm sure that many of you are thinking of the "P" word, but the reality is that personality counts for nothing. In today's world of celebrity, even the plainest of women want a Frank Lampard or a George Clooney. The worst thing is they are prepared to put up with anything to get them and keep them. I've lost count of the conversations I've heard between women complaining of inconsiderate, rude. thoughtless, cheating and lying boyfriends. I stand there thinking "I wouldn't have carried on watching Match of the Day when you had something to say. I wouldn't have chatted up that girl at the bar" But it's all worthless because five minutes later the boyfriend arrives, and afer one look, all her anger just melts away because he's her Frank Lampard.

I'm only human and I can only take so much. Each smile that goes unreturned, every "hello" that goes unanswered and every funny comment that goes unnoticed takes a little piece of you with it. After a while you find yourself sitting on someone's sofa handing over £200 because you just want someone to want you. You know it is'nt real but you have no choice. So don't hate me, don't even judge me. I'm just trying to buy back the pieces of my soul. The problem is that even I know there is'nt enough money in the world to do that"

Now I know thats a bit dramatic - and that is certainly not the way I feel about life, being single and dating but it did resonate with me and made me think about past relationships I have had and I have to say in many ways, this guy is right, it is remarkable what people are willing to put up with, it's a sad state of affairs when our relationships are being dictated by unrealistic expectations. I don't know what the person I am going to end up with is going to look like, I am guessing probably not like any of the guys I have put on this blog but I do know what the guy will be like because I know what qualities I find attractive in a guy, I just hope the wrapping does not distract me again because when you open it up it usually doesn't match up to any of the things on the list.

Well this weekend is one of intrigue and mystery - My birthday is coming up on the 10th November and Oliver has planned an early birthday surprise tomorrow night and I have absolutely no frikkin idea what it's going to be, I am sure it will be fabulous and marvellous and wonderful, I shall of course tell all on Monday!!

Just to raise the mood here is a gratuitous picture of a lovely looking fella ella ella - It's Henry Cavill, star of "The Tudors"






Have a delicious weekend

xx

Wednesday, October 15, 2008

Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Ritchie is now listed as single

Well it's been on the cards for a while but an announcement is imminent that after 8 years of marriage Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting divorced. Oh it's all very sad especially with kids involved, am quite surprised that Madonna has not waited for her tour to finish before announcing this but what would I know about the closed doors of the Ritchie household.

In other Madonna related news, She has had some good news today - In an interview with the digital spy website Tricia Penrose from the ITV "drama" Heartbeat has said that she would love it if Madonna would guest star on the show stating

"My ideal guest star on Heartbeat would have to be Madonna. She's a legend," Tricia explained. "It'd be great if she could play a relative of Gina's - perhaps one of her aunts. Come on, Madonna, pick up the phone..."




Girlfriend are you high, the only way you would get Madonna on that show is by drugging and kidnapping her, she aint going to yorkshire!! Apparently the show has already had "high profile stars" including Lulu, Charlotte Church and Gary Barlow - yeah real high profile.

Not having blogged for a while I missed the whole gay tattoo religious scandal - for those unaware of the story Reverand Peter Mullen wrote on his blog -



"Let us make it obligatory for homosexuals to have their backsides tattooed with the slogan SODOMY CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH and their chins with FELLATIO KILLS."

Charming! I spoke to god and she aint happy about this! It's also totally inaccurate - sodomy only damages your health if ya don't know what ya doing, ease yourself into it and it's really quite marvellous and as for fellatio killing? well that's just silly! It's bloody fantastic and methinks Rev Mullen should deal with whats real and ease into a few things himself - like a blender perhaps.

Well rumours are starting already about whats going to happen at next year's Brit Awards - firstly that George Michael has been dropped from the show which is hardly surprising since he can barely go into a loo or get behind a wheel without getting totally twatted like a 15 year old at a school disco. The biggest issue I have with one particular rumour is the suggestion of who should be awarded the outstanding contribution to british music award - apparently Simon Cowell has been approached, call me a cynical old queen but this is the man that has provided our ears with such shit as Sonia, Five, Westlife, Robson and Jerome and Ultimate Kaos as well as novelty records by the World Wrestling Federation, Teletubbies, Zig and Zag and the Might Morphin Power Rangers and not forgetting the wall of orange chessiness aka they make me ill divo. I mean sure he has given us Leona Lewis and several other X factor/American Idol winners but surely there are artists out there that have actually written songs or even better sung songs that are far more deserving of the award.

I was flicking through the usual celebrity riddled magazines on my lunch break yesterday and got to OK! Magazine - they really do take the piss - this week that moral ridden queen of all that is good and true is on the front cover - Obviously I am talking about Jordan - she is posing on the front in a wedding dress holding up her left hand - but wait a minute she has not got a wedding ring on! The headline reads "Why I walked out on Pete" - oh no is their marriage over too?? Of course it fucking is'nt - since when does OK! Magazine ever tell the truth on their cover - reading the 735825785 page article what actually happened was she walked out on him.....for 2 days! She also states that she does not want to talk about the surgery she had for her prolapsed womb but then goes on for 2 paragraphs about her bowel movements - nice.

Also saw in Heat Magazine yesterday that Jodie Marsh is now a lesbian and is going out with a hairdresser called Nina with some very posed paparazzi pics showing them locking lips, next week Jodie reveals finally that she is in fact a pig in a wig.



xx

Tuesday, October 14, 2008

Some of you may be aware that Saturday was National Coming Out Day!!

It all seems a bit random - I only read about this in gay publications so one would think that if you are reading a gay magazine you are more than likely out to someone about your sexuality. I came out when I was 16 which means that basically I have been out for roughly half my life (how frikkin scary is that?) - I always find it interesting to hear people's "coming out" stories because no two stories are ever the same, for many young gay people, coming out can be the biggest and scariest moment of their lives - I know it was for me.

I can remember the day I came out to my parents so clearly, as if it were yesterday, I had told a few of my friends already and they had all been fantastic, even the straight guys, well after I assured them that I wasn't going to bum them into next week. I had sat up in my room standing in front of the mirror practising my speech over and over again but everytime I got to the all important "Mum and Dad, I am gay" part I would just burst into tears over all the fears and thoughts that i assumed would run through their mind. The biggest fear for me is that they would think I had let them down or that they had done something wrong. There is no worse feeling than thinking that you have let your parents down.

After lots of thought and soul searching I decided there was no way I could get through telling them so I sat down and started writing, putting all my thoughts and feelings of the last few years in one hell of an angst ridden letter. I banged on for 3 or 4 pages about how depressed I had been feeling and not knowing what to do with myself before finally admitting on the last page that I was gay. I then said at the end of the letter that I would be at my friend clare's house if they wanted to talk. I left the letter in an obvious place and walked up to clare's in floods of tears.

After a short while of pacing up and down and worrying, the phone rang and my dad said I should head home. I always thought that my dad would be angry as he is a yorkshire man born and bred and probably didn't want a poof as a son. My mum would be fine and give me a big hug and tell me everything would be alright, well it just goes to show that you can never presume what a reaction will be. I got home to find my mum at the bottom of the stairs, crying like I had never seen anyone cry before, whilst my dad just gave me a hug and told me everything was ok. We went into the living room and my mum calmed down enough to start asking questions - was it just a phase? what about AIDS? are you seeing anyone? you are too young to know? etc.

It took a long, long time for my parents to really accept my sexuality and that year was probably one of the most painful of my life, looking at my parents knowing that they were thinking "where did we go wrong?" - it's a gut wrenching feeling. I am very happy to say that now my parents are amazing and totally accept me for who I am. I am very lucky. Recently I was chatting to my mother and asked her about that infamous letter - why did she get so upset about it?

She put me straight on the matter (no pun intended) - in the year leading up to the letter I had worn nothing but black clothes, listened to nothing but Morrissey and The Smiths and generally had been walking round like a zombie, My mother found the note and thought I had killed myself. I never ever thought that would happen and now know that maybe I should have opened with the whole I'm gay thing - well thankfully you live and learn.

Anyways that's my lil coming out story. I have many other stories involving friends that vary from hilarious to truly tragic but that's not for here. I have to say that no matter how painful some of it was, coming out has enhanced my life and broadened my horizons, true enough it does not always work out as well as that but thankfully there is lots of support out there for young people these days, I just hope they know where to find it.

Please tell me I am not the only one who is bored to tears with hearing the news and it being banks, banks, banks - I really need someone to sit down with me and tell me in no more than 5 minutes what the fuck is going on because the second I start reading one of the bank news stories or anything financial for that matter I start drifting off into day dream world - this is always preferable as it usually involves Danny Dyer banging me against a cash machine as £50 notes fly out of it - think I need to stop eating so much cheese - it's havinga rather bizarre impact on my subconcious.

Can we just take a moment to appreciate Huge Jackman - he was on the beach in Sydney yesterday celebrating his 40th birthday - the guy looks amazing, he is super gay friendly, can dance and loves musical theatre - tick, tick, tick, tick all of my boxes Hugh!




Well that's quite enough for today

xx

Monday, October 13, 2008

Heartfelt apologies for the lack of blogging, normal service is now resumed!

I have to admit that my finger has slipped off the pulse of the celebrity world this week - although Madonna has inevitably caught my attention for her rather fabulous comments about Sarah Palin, Madonna has been performing in New York at Madison Square Garden and has been screeching her guitar every night andf comparing the noise to "Sarah Palin thinking". Also after singing her hit "Express Yourself" she said "I'd like to express myself to Sarah Palin right now!" but the best was yet to come as Madonna threw condoms into the crowd with a picture of Palin on the wrapper saying that this was the best way to promote safe sex - go on girl!

140 stupid people have complained to the BBC about last week's gay kiss on Eastenders, Thankfully the BBC have slapped the complaints stating

"EastEnders aims to reflect real life, and this means including and telling stories about characters from many different backgrounds, faiths, religions and sexualities.
"We approach our portrayal of homosexual relationships in the same way as we do heterosexual relationships.

"In this instance, Christian is enjoying the first flush of romance and we've shown him being affectionate with his new boyfriend in the same way any couple would.

"We also aim to ensure that depictions of affection or sexuality between couples are suitable for pre-watershed viewing.

"We believe that the general tone and content of EastEnders is now widely recognised, meaning that parents can make an informed decision as to whether they want their children to watch."



I love that they think people who complain about a gay kiss could ever actually make an informed decision!

One of my favourite london gay bars is closing!! The Trash Palace which opened a few years ago on my birthday is moving on but it's not all bad news, whats actually happening is that it's moving to a new venue in Old Street with the club Ghetto! This is quite a lethal move as I live very near to Old Street and the temptation may all get a bit too much! This does mean that East London now has a great set of venues including The Joiners Arms and The George and Dragon, this could all lead to my demise!

Anyways hopefully by tomorrow I shall be fully informed of all things celebrity and have lots of interesting things to tell you

Until then

xx

Friday, October 03, 2008

On September 8th this year I wrote in my blog about a homophobic attack near one of my local pubs in Hackney. A gay man was attacked by a gang of youths and stabbed 8 times. At the time of the post he was in a stable but critical condition, yesterday it was revealed that he was stabbed in the spinal cord and is now permanently paralysed - he is 21 years old. This is the kind of horrific outcome that I would expect to read about in the national press, surely this would justify at least a paragraph. I read about this attack in 2 places, a website for gay related news and one newspaper "The East London Advertiser" - can someone tell me how homophobic hate crime is going to be taken seriously if nobody is aware of it? I have spent time thinking about this but have reached the conclusion that it really does not make any sense.

I really do love my mum, she is quite a marvellous woman! I am still unable to watch TV but am very keen to see the new Jonathan Harvey sitcom "Beautiful People" that started last night on BBC2 - Thankfully my mother has come to the rescue, she is recording them all onto dvd for me - what a star!! She is also recording "The Secret Policemen's Ball" on CH4 on sunday night featuring the genius of Alan Carr!!

Well the weekend is upon us, tomorrow I am off to Catford!!! (lord help me now) for a 40th birthday party and then sunday I am heading down to South London to support my lovely lovely friend Camilla who is taking part in the "Run to the Beat" half marathon. The girl has been training like an olympic athlete, lets just hope she doesn't have a piss in the street like that Paula Radcliffe.

Hold the front page - Kerry Katona is going to get her breasts out on her new reality show as part of her breast reduction, Cut to thousands of people listening to the shipping forecast.

Am so sexually confused at the moment, I have never really found Chris Martin of Coldplay fame very attractive but he looks pretty fine in this picture, is that wrong?




His bandmate Guy Berryman is absolute perfection though!



Have a lovely weekend

xx

Thursday, October 02, 2008

A thousand times sorry for the lack of blogging

I had a very hectic weekend and then took ill on tuesday and have only just managed to drag my ass back to a computer. The weekend was lots of fun, a crazy night was had at popstarz on friday night, it has improved massively since the last time, the organisers have now taken over the whole of the club and there is lots more room for me to make a twat of myself - can't actually remember many details of friday's carnage but i do remember dancing badly to Madonna and making friends with a lovely lesbian couple - did any men come near me? did they bogroll!! I was wearing my man repellent yet again.

Saturday I had a very lazy morning and then headed into town to meet Oliver, Mel and Adrian for lunch before heading to see Avenue Q - if you have not had chance to see it - please go, it is so offensive and politically incorrect! I just loved it and it seemed so did everyone else, we went to the matinee and usually audiences are a bit crap at that time of day but everyone seemed well up for some crude songs and jokes. This was followed by a few beers in the always wonderful Retro Bar and an early - ish night.

Sunday I woke up and my gut was aching with hunger so I treated myself to coffee, croissants and the morning papers, It really is the best way to spend a sunday morning, I then headed up to Angel and did something unheard of - I went for something to eat by myself, a very liberating experience. I popped into The Green on Upper Street and ordered food and read my book and all was content and lovely with the world.....until some gobby gay boys and lezza's sat next to me and ranted about their "crazy" weekend - I then turned decidedly homophobic, it's a wonder I managed to finish my food! Pete turned up shortly after and we had a great catch up and a few beers to round off the weekend.

Since then I have not been very well, my throat has felt like I have been swallowing razor blades so I locked myself in the house and pulled my duvet onto the sofa and managed to make my way through far too many episodes of Law and Order and a couple of Prime Suspects - I am now crimed out!!

I do have loads on so shall return with a proper end of week blog tomorrow

xx