Madonna Louise Veronica Ciccone Ritchie is now listed as single

Well it's been on the cards for a while but an announcement is imminent that after 8 years of marriage Madonna and Guy Ritchie are getting divorced. Oh it's all very sad especially with kids involved, am quite surprised that Madonna has not waited for her tour to finish before announcing this but what would I know about the closed doors of the Ritchie household.

In other Madonna related news, She has had some good news today - In an interview with the digital spy website Tricia Penrose from the ITV "drama" Heartbeat has said that she would love it if Madonna would guest star on the show stating

"My ideal guest star on Heartbeat would have to be Madonna. She's a legend," Tricia explained. "It'd be great if she could play a relative of Gina's - perhaps one of her aunts. Come on, Madonna, pick up the phone..."




Girlfriend are you high, the only way you would get Madonna on that show is by drugging and kidnapping her, she aint going to yorkshire!! Apparently the show has already had "high profile stars" including Lulu, Charlotte Church and Gary Barlow - yeah real high profile.

Not having blogged for a while I missed the whole gay tattoo religious scandal - for those unaware of the story Reverand Peter Mullen wrote on his blog -



"Let us make it obligatory for homosexuals to have their backsides tattooed with the slogan SODOMY CAN SERIOUSLY DAMAGE YOUR HEALTH and their chins with FELLATIO KILLS."

Charming! I spoke to god and she aint happy about this! It's also totally inaccurate - sodomy only damages your health if ya don't know what ya doing, ease yourself into it and it's really quite marvellous and as for fellatio killing? well that's just silly! It's bloody fantastic and methinks Rev Mullen should deal with whats real and ease into a few things himself - like a blender perhaps.

Well rumours are starting already about whats going to happen at next year's Brit Awards - firstly that George Michael has been dropped from the show which is hardly surprising since he can barely go into a loo or get behind a wheel without getting totally twatted like a 15 year old at a school disco. The biggest issue I have with one particular rumour is the suggestion of who should be awarded the outstanding contribution to british music award - apparently Simon Cowell has been approached, call me a cynical old queen but this is the man that has provided our ears with such shit as Sonia, Five, Westlife, Robson and Jerome and Ultimate Kaos as well as novelty records by the World Wrestling Federation, Teletubbies, Zig and Zag and the Might Morphin Power Rangers and not forgetting the wall of orange chessiness aka they make me ill divo. I mean sure he has given us Leona Lewis and several other X factor/American Idol winners but surely there are artists out there that have actually written songs or even better sung songs that are far more deserving of the award.

I was flicking through the usual celebrity riddled magazines on my lunch break yesterday and got to OK! Magazine - they really do take the piss - this week that moral ridden queen of all that is good and true is on the front cover - Obviously I am talking about Jordan - she is posing on the front in a wedding dress holding up her left hand - but wait a minute she has not got a wedding ring on! The headline reads "Why I walked out on Pete" - oh no is their marriage over too?? Of course it fucking is'nt - since when does OK! Magazine ever tell the truth on their cover - reading the 735825785 page article what actually happened was she walked out on him.....for 2 days! She also states that she does not want to talk about the surgery she had for her prolapsed womb but then goes on for 2 paragraphs about her bowel movements - nice.

Also saw in Heat Magazine yesterday that Jodie Marsh is now a lesbian and is going out with a hairdresser called Nina with some very posed paparazzi pics showing them locking lips, next week Jodie reveals finally that she is in fact a pig in a wig.



xx