whats it all about? i dont give a crap!

Wednesday, April 29, 2009

Frail pippy!

this last week has pretty much sucked big time, I was running a training session in Slough on friday (as if that was not bad enough) I attempted to shift a table in the training room that was a lot heavier than it looked and managed to bugger both my wrists up so typing, lifting, pushing and pulling have been a slight ordeal and then to top things off I must have slept funny on monday night as my neck has been cricked or in spasm for 2 days, slowly but surely getting better but do get the occassional surprise feeling that someone in high heels is standing on my shoulder, so painful that I can't help yelping in pain! boo!

the weekend was fun though, my parents came to stay and we went out for lots of delicious food and visited many markets! what is it with parents and markets? they just love them, they also had cheap tickets for Madam Tussauds so we went there on saturday afternoon, it was absolutely packed! I don’t mind crowds really as long as there is some movement but people were just crowding round the waxworks and I contsantly felt quite trapped, managed to get a few comedy photos and dirty looks from american tourists for simply standing and laughing whilst posing between hitler and hussain!

The line up for this year's V festival is growing by the day, a few more fave's have been added such as Athlete, Red Light Company, Noisettes, Calvin Harris and Jet, please god let the weather be as good as last year and since I am going to the Chelsmford site I may bump into Danny Dyer as he was there last year but has recently disclosed in an interview that he had to leave last year's festival early as he followed through! and yet somehow I still fancy him - dirty pippy!

Well holiday plans are afoot! Thanks to Oliver yet again for sorting out a mega cheap few days in Ibiza in June, then I am off to Finland in August for a few days to see the lovely Tony and Anna and then America later in September. What credit crunch?? Also on the horizon is a civil partnership, not mine sadly but the fabulous James and Jim are getting hitched the same day as London Pride, I am very grateful to them picking this date, I always have to work at London pride andit's not exactly my favourite day, much prefer Brighton Pride where I can just relax and get twatted.

My obsession with the American show "Law and Order - Special Victims Unit" continues with the recentdelivery of season 8, I have managed a few episodes but I am not impressed mainly because the main female lead played by Mariska Hargitay is not featured heavily due to the actress being pregnant so they have temporarily replaced her and the new actress is just hateful, I think this is on purpose but me no likey! although on a positive note they did manage to get my swoonthrob Chris Meloni down to his underwear in episode 4 so all is kinda forgiven

Well we have a bank holiday weekend just round the corner, big snaps to Oliver who is cycling coast to coast for charity, I shall be toasting whilst he is coasting! the plans for the weekend are a bit sketchy but I do intend to drink a little and hopefully bask in the sun!

xx

Thursday, April 23, 2009

Well it had to happen sooner or later, it has been announced that there is going to be a "Jade Goody : The Muscial" - auditions for the role of Ms Goody are to be held shortly, I do think this idea has potential - from her early years in Bermondsey, I am picturing an Oliver Twist with a twist affair - the drugs, the crime - songs like "daddy don’t shoot up in the KFC toilets anymore" and surely an award should be given for the songwriter who gets "one armed lesbian" into a into a dance number. Moving onto Jade's success in Big brother - " Listen to me singin, Am I mingin?", and the classic "I can't spell tarantula, where on earth is east angular". Following that there is the run of reality shows and OK Magazine covers and then back into the big brother house - I feel this should incorporate a bollywood theme possibly with dancing poppadom's? Just a few ideas but I think it will be a corker and cant wait to see it!

xx

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

My lovely parents are coming to stay with me this weekend and hopefully it shall be good weather and we can have a good explore of London, they love walking on the south bank and borough market and all the little antique shops near me in Angel but also they are dragging me to Madam Tussaud's (they have blagged cheap tickets) I don’t mean to appear ungrateful but I cant see the appeal at all, it's half tempting to take an aerosol and a lighter and jazz a few of the waxworks up a bit. Look out for me on the news!

Sadly before that happens I have to spend friday in Slough, now I have never been to Slough but it does not sound like the most tempting of places, Jimmy Carr stated "I grew up in Slough in the 1970's, if you want to know what Slough was like in the 1970's…go there now" Thankfully I shall be going straight there and back before they realise that I am not one of them.

xx

Tuesday, April 21, 2009

Let the sunshine, gays to blame for gun crime!

yes just when you thought it was safe to go back in the gay bar, it turns out that us sausage botherers are pretty much solely to blame for gun crime and the decrease in society's morality. After being blamed for the destruction of the rainforests, 9/11 and hurricane katrina this is all I need. A guy called Robert Peters who is the president of some bullshit organisation called "Morality in Media" has stated that

It most certainly is not my intention to blame the epidemic of mass murders on the gay rights movement", he then linked the success of the gay marriage sexual revolution to a fall in morality, saying this is what causes gun crime.
Mr Peters argued: "It is my intention to point out that the success of the sexual revolution is inversely proportional to the decline in morality; and it is the decline of morality (and the faith that so often under girds it) that is the underlying cause of our modern day epidemic of mass murders."
Spread the love Mr Peters, spread the love!

He also claimed the the recent decision of the Iowa Supreme Court to legalise gay marriage in the state was part of the "damage" inflicted on society which was leading to paedophilia and STDs, among others.
Oh Mr Peters get off your high horse, suck on a solero and shut the fuck up.

Speaking of hgh horses (not Amy Winehouse) our dear dear leader Madonna took a bit of a tumble this weekend whilst riding a horse in the Hamptons. She's fine though and was spotted the next day with a smile on her face, she has blamed her fall on over eager paparazzi leaping out of bushes but they say that they are not to blame - who to trust I cannot figure.

Now this weekend on "Britain's got talent" (watched via the joyous youtube) there was a pretender to Susan Boyle's throne, 12 year old Shaheen Jafargholi came on stage looking all sweet and innocent and started singing "Valerie" only to be stopped almost immediately by Simon Cowell asking if he sang anything else , the audience looked confused (as if someone had just said 1 + 1?) but luckily Shaheen had also bought and got lined up "Who's Loving You", well thank god for that, obviously this was not staged at all, the fact that the kid had a frikkin smile on his face when Simon stopped him and the other 2 judges were looking shocked (quite an acting stretch for Amanda Holden), anyways the kid nailed it but he did sing the exact version that Michael Jackson sang as a child note for note etc, so hopefully we will get a taste of what else he can do later.

Well the sun is shining and I cant sit indoors anymore

laters!

xx

Friday, April 17, 2009

I do usually love the famous gays, the role models for the youth but occasionally a totally wrong opinionated twat comes along to poop all over the party cue Rupert Everett. Recently, Rupert gave an interview where he said …..and I believe this is verbatim

"I think this surrogacy thing is crap. It is utterly hideous. I think it's egocentric and vain.
"And these endless IVF treatments people go through. I mean, if you are meant to have babies then great. But this whole idea of two gay guys filling a cocktail shaker with their sperm and impregnating some grim lesbian and then it gets cut out is just really weird.
"If I did have the impulse to be a parent, I would adopt - or foster. But this whole thing of forcing the idea of parenthood on us gay men is so bogus. Marriage? Babies? Please. I want to be illegal. I want to live outside the mainstream."
He added: "Or am I slightly ahead of the curve? It has to change. These awful middle-class queens - which is what the gay movement has become - are so tiresome. It's all Abercrombie & Fitch and strollers. Everybody has the right to do what they want to do, but still…"
Oh shut up Rupert! You know what I hate? gay men who will go to ridiculous lengths to make themselves look younger by tying a bungee rope to the back of their head and getting a fat person to jump off their skull - exhibit a -



I mean really it looks like latex, I would not be surprised if he ripped it off and croaked that he would have gotten away with it if it wasn't for those pesky kids

Well this weekend is going to be a mixed bag of tricks but all fun I am sure, I know its been a while but what the hell, its been one of those weeks and since its friday why not have a

IMAGINARY MEN OF PIPPY'S BOUDOIR!
Yes it's back, maybe for one week, maybe more but now the blogging is back on track I thought why not, so this week it's a bit of a random one but he is oh so fine, you may recognise him from the Birdcage, Sex and the city, Will and Grace or A Mighty Heart with Angelina Jolie, He is the oh so handome and ever so slightly hairy (ya know I loves me some hairy) Dan Futterman. Enjoy






xx

The Pink Paper strikes again

Can anyone tell me why this story is in the gay press specifically?

a nurse who accessed pornographic websites at work and “caused distress and humiliation to patients” has been found guilty of misconduct.

Julian Faulkner’s alleged history of misdemeanours covers a period of two years, from May 2004 to June 2006. Incidents include asking a female colleague to molest a patient, showing another an image of a penis on staff computers and repeatedly watching the Iraqi execution of Briton Ken Bigley at work.

The 34-year-old nurse also threw grapes at one patient and, after ignoring an incontinent patient’s requests to visit the toilet, sprayed him with cold water as he was lifted out of the bath.

He also used inappropriate language at work and discussed his sex life with staff on the ward, the hearing was told.

Links on his computer were found to videos showing pitbull dogs killing a man in Paraguay and another man being run over in Brazil.

The nurse was found guilty of six charges alleging inappropriate behaviour. He now faces being kicked out of the profession.

NMC chairman Judith Worthington said: “These patients were entitled to receive safe and competent care and had the right to expect they were in a safe environment, This Is Derbyshire reported.

“As a registered nurse, Mr Faulkner owed each of these patients a duty of care. The nurse caused distress and humiliation to patients in his care by reason of the matters found proved. The nurse’s inappropriate behaviour was persistent. It was repeated despite the distaste expressed by female work colleagues.

“His actions indicated serious failings and amounted to conduct unworthy of a nurse. The panel is satisfied that they amounted individually and accumulatively to misconduct.”

Rosemary Paul, for the NMC, said Faulkner worked as a D-grade staff nurse at the time of the allegations, which related to two patients three times.

“The charges also relate to the way Mr Faulkner interacted with staff on the ward,” she added. “He was inappropriate in using sexual language in relation to his own sex life and in relation to patients and work colleagues.

“His use of the work IT system was inappropriate conduct in that he accessed inappropriate websites and showed colleagues explicit images

I am sorry but where is the gay slant of this story, was the nurse gay? is that it? I must be missing something but am not sure what.

You may not realise this but sports presenter Claire Balding, ya know big shoulders, face slightly like a bo selecta mask, big chin? well she is an out and proud lesbian and the other week she got into s bit of trouble - she was covering the Grand National for the BBC and was interviewing the jockey of the winning horse who let's just say had teeth like the before shot in a dental advert, Claire casually mentioned that with his winnings he could afford to "get his teeth done" and the BBC received 1477 complaints - ha ha, I think the woman was pure comedy! more I say more lesbian comedy on the Beeb!

Well finally the last episode of "Horne and Corden" has aired on BBC3, I have to admit the series has been a tad shit but they tried! and dare I say I found the kiss between Horne as Superman and Corden as Spiderman ever so slightly arousing? well I have said it now and cant take it back, yes I have the hots for a decidely average actor and his obese comedy partner.

It's been a while since I have been on that internet site of intellect - the Sheffield Forum, where the people of my fair home city log on to wax lyrical about the hot topics of the day, although often the questions asked can be a tad fuckin stupid or people just go on there to comment on new aspects of the city - here is a corker, talking about a new Tesco store that has recently opened

- Has anyone been? I think it is fantastic it sells everything even sells sweets! And It even has a bakery!

For ten years I have had to put up with poor service from local shops (unprofessional to say the least). The staff at this tesco are great.
No local shop can even compete with their management structure

the majority of the questions asked are by such stupid people, they actually go on line log into the site, post a question and then wait for a response, the only problem being that they are usually asking for phone numbers or email addresses, dare I say google? muppets!

I would normally actually have part of this blog full to the brim with showbiz gossip but the cold, hard fact is that it's a bit thin on the ground at the moment, is it just me or is nobody of interest doing anything at the moment? I would report on the amount of times Britney has said something stupid in concert lately but that's getting to be too regular an occurrence, Amy Winehouse is back in St Lucia so the streets of Camden are tumbleweeded at the moment and Kerry Katona is not daring to set foot outside her front door at the moment, possibly too twatted to find it.

Here's hoping for a revelation soon!
xx

Tuesday, April 14, 2009

I am sat here rather confused today, over the last few months the national lesbian and gay newpaper "Pink Paper" has repeatedly featured stories on various child abuse stories, the majority of these have been carried out by men who identify as heterosexual. Why, I ask myself should these stories be specifically featured in a gay publication, is the pink paper guilty of associating paedophillia with gay sexuality? I already get sick of the shocking headlines in the Daily Mail, so why am I reading the same scare mongering stories in the gay press?

I occasionally use the Amazon website to order dvd's and cd's but this weekend the site made a hugely offensive mistake, anyone going on their site looking for lesbian or gay books, dvd's etc were finding their searches turning up nothing, Amazon had removed all gay related material deeming it as adult material, they have since apologised but still that aint nice, they had even removed John Barrowman's autobiography and no one can ever say that is adult, a child could have written it.

As you know I don’t really watch TV but it was brought to my attention this weekend that I must go on youtube to catch an audition on "Britain's Got Talent", a woman called Susan Boyle came on stage, lets just say she fits into the Heather Trott off Eastenders style woman, lives on her own with her cat, never been married, never been kissed - the judges and the audience were openly laughing in her face when she said she wanted to be the next Elaine Paige, that was until she started singing - just check her out on youtube, it is quite amazing!

xx

Wednesday, April 08, 2009

I am feeling like it's going to be one of those days

This morning I discovered I had a special and yet unwanted power - I apparently have an invisible message scrawled across my forehead, it's quite a lengthy message but people still seem to pick it up - it goes like this

* need directions? don’t ask all the people around me who don’t have earphones in, ask me!,( I really wanted that song interrupted so I could direct you to the street that you were standing on in the first place)

* do you have a weight problem, bad body odour, weeping sores on your face and a can of special brew in your hand? come sit next to me on a hot bus it will make the journey simply fly by

*can you see me coming? please walk sideways across the pavement, walk into me and then tut!

Yes this message is very clear and tends to happen most days, also sometimes it applies to people are, let's just say ever so slightly similar in mental stature to that of Heather Trott from Eastenders - shouting random stuff at me like "that'll be my teatime!" or "I don’t like peas!" - maybe you should have got on that Variety Club bus?




Now for all his faults Tony Blair has always been good to the gays and in the latest edition of Attitude Magazine he has given us a shout out again! He has not slagged off that Pope geezer for his "entrenched" views on homosexuality -

"There is a huge generational difference here. There's probably that same fear amongst religious leaders that if you concede ground on [homosexuality], because attitudes and thinking evolve over time, where does that end? You'd start having to rethink many, many things."
He added: "If you went and asked the [ordinary Catholic] congregation, I think you'd find that their faith is not to be found in those types of entrenched attitudes.
"Actually, we need an attitude of mind where rethinking and the concept of evolving attitudes becomes part of the discipline with which you approach your religious faith."
Go Tony!

I really hope that this is a phase I am going through but I cannot stop listening to the new Calvin Harris single, it's trance for god's sake!! but I slapped it on this morning as I woke up and within seconds I was throwing some serious shapes around the room, I looked like an extra from "Human Traffic" - what next neon face paint and glow sticks? I feel like getting a blackboard and writing 100 times - I am an indie boy, trance is awful - one thing this TUNE does mean is that summer is round the corner, there is always one massive track in these few months and I think this might be it. Oh I hope this summer is fierce, I want festivals and beer gardens and sunshine and sex with men (I know this last one is not just a summer escapade, well for me its more like an annual escapade)

Talking of Festivals - I am off to V Festival again this year!!! I will be working but last year that still left me plenty of time to see bands and the line up so far is looking good - The Killers, Oasis (who I have slagged off 1000 times but I reckon they would be pretty good live) Keane, Razorlight, Lily Allen, Snow Patrol, Elbow, James, Wombats, The Enemy, Paulo Nutini, Lady Gaggin! - should be amazing, if the weather is as good as last year.

anyways that enough from me

have fun

xx

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

Another delayed blog from me, ah well it turns out that you can't have it all!

Right let's kick off with Madonna, bless her, she is not having a good time of it at the moment, after declaring that she wanted to adopt a second child from Malawi, a little girl called Mercy, the judge in the case has refused and Madonna had to leave the country empty handed and very upset. I imagine not half as upset as Mercy James will be in a few years time when she is told that the woman who wanted to take her away and give her a new life was one of the most famous and wealthy women in the world - poor old mercy gets a visit from Davina McCall once every 2 years for a Comic Relief film whereas Baby David gets his own country.

All is not well in the world of lesbian love - allegedly Lohan and Ronson are no more, ruours have appeared today saying that Ronson's family have taken a restraining order out on Ms Lohan, she does tend to be a lil crazy but what harm can she do, I am not sure of her exact weight but you could twat her with a tissue and she would fly! not that scary really.

Now as you may know I don’t watch TV, but I have recently discovered that joys of bbc iplayer and channel 4OD, which means I was able to watch the much talked about episode of Eastenders the other night, It didn’t take me long to catch up on what was going on but it was a corking episode, lets face it when they get it right they really get it right, oh it had everything, a wedding, anger, tears, pat, death. I just love it that they wait for everyone to get in the Queen Vic before making a big reveal/announcement/drama, you can imagine Peggy Mitchell at the door saying "nah I cant slap ya til them from no.43 come in", I may have to start watching this show again especially since they may be adding the love of my life to the cast - Danny Dyer! get in!

I have also discovered (and it's only taken me a few years) The IT Crowd, I have seen the odd episode before but watched loads over the weekend and I have to say it is hilarious and full of those moments that define my life - those of sheer stupidity and total embrassment. I seriously cannot recommend this show enough.

Well easter is just round the corner and all I can say is it can't get here soon enough, the joy of a long weekend!! just hope the weather stays sweet!

have fun

xx