It's friday already people!

I am looking forward to hitting Sheffield this weekend and catching up with my girl Ms Dan Jackson!! We are going to drop it like it's hot! Not sure where we will end up as there are quite a few venues nowadays in the old steel city. I intend to paint the town red, it's just a shame that most of the gay men in Sheffield seem to prefer orange....sprawled all over their faces! "it's natural, it's natural" "not unless your father fucked a wotsit"



Well Boy George has been hauled up in court again for allegedly imprisoning a male escort in his home by chaining him to a wall and leaving him there for hours. George has denied the charges - the trial begins in November. He is on tour at the moment and by all accounts he is performing really well, Sadly i missed him in London, let's just hope i get the chance to catch him at some point in the future without having to get arrested to do so.




Justin Timberlake is appearing in a new film called "The Love Guru" with Mike Myers. It looks quite ridiculous but when i see pics like these i seem to stop caring about acting and storylines.





Is it wrong that i am finding the pictures of Prince Harry in his army uniform strangely arousing? i always thought Prince William was handsome but now he has got the horsey teeth syndrome, i have begun to favour a bit of Harry. It kinda falls ito the same wrong pile as fancying Daniel Radcliffe, i have a fear that i will turn into a dirty old man propping up the bar in a gay club dribbling over any guy under 25 - yuk!

anyways not much else to say today really, bring on the weekend - Not sure when my next blog will be so have fun

kisses

I feel sick!!

I used to be a "vegetarian" - it was during my angst ridden teenage years where i basically wanted to be the character of Darlene in the sitcom "Roseanne". I used to wear black/grey clothes all the time, listen to Morrissey and then announced to my parents that i wanted to stop eating meat. My parents were quite ok about it as they wanted me to eat more veg anyway and my mother liked experimenting with new recipes. I lasted a few years until i discovered the joys of alcohol and eating healthy after 6 pints is never easy so burgers came back into my life and bacon sandwiches were not far behind. This didn't mean that i didn't love animals, i still do feel passionately about animal rights and after going to Harrods on saturday and seeing the protestors outside who were trying to get people to stop going to Harrods due to the fact that they still sell animal fur, i realised just how swick the thought of people wearing fur made me feel.

It was with great shock that i saw the news this week that french fashion designer Jean Paul Gaultier has heavily featured animal fur in his latest collection in a way that has not been seen for a long time mainly due to the fact that it is just not fashionable anymore, it is cruel and pathetic. I absolutely adore seeing foxes in my local neighbourhood at night, i think they are rather beautiful creatures and look beautiful - and its true they look beautiful...in nature, not on a models head! eeewwww




I want a date! I have written many many times on this blog about my (desperate) search for a man, I have kinda been seeing someone very casually over the last few months but he lives in Scotland and is only in London about once a month for a couple of days and although it's nice to go out for dinner and spend time together, I am feeling the need for a more permanent guy in my life. The only problem in this sprawling metropolis is finding someone. I love dating, i love getting to know a person and finding out what makes a guy tick. I read an article in "Attitude" magazine recently where they set a gay journalist the challenge of meeting a guy in 10 days. The article was hilarious and included the guy hiring a gay guy to fix his shower which ended up in them having sex, he knew the guy was older and presumed he was in his mid 40's, it turns out the guy was 67!!! so that was not the best start to the experiment - shagging a pensioner and it really didn't get much better after that.

So how do we find that elusive man, speed dating? blind dating? the internet? accidentally sitting on someone on the tube? clacking our heels up and down Old Compton Street til someone actually dares to strike up conversation? I have stopped thinking that "he" is out there and I do not believe in soulmates anymore - the very idea that there is one person out there for everyone is a tad deluded - there are 7 million people in London, what if the guy for me is a pig farmer in Poland - our paths are not likely to cross anytime soon! I am getting bored of trolling round the gay bars of London so i guess i shall just have to carry on harassing my friends to introduce me to their eligible single gay friends.....I'm waiting!!

xx

I sometimes sit in awe at the sheer stupidity of people, When i hear about a stupid thing that someone has done or i see someone being blatantly dumb i always think of the episode of "Absolutely Fabulous" where Edina is in court on a multitude of charges and goes on a rant about how hard it is to get through everyday life due to stupid people, here is part of said rant -

"Why, oh, why do we pay taxes, huh?! Just so we can have bloody parking restrictions, and bloody ugly traffic wardens, and bollocky pedestrian bloody crossings! Why not just have a "Stupidity Tax?" Just tax the stupid people"

I was just reading the Evening Standard website and they have written an article about the governments intentions to make sex and relationships education compulsory in primary and secondary schools starting with pupils aged 5. I think this is long overdue! Other countries do this already and their rates of teenage pregnancy and STI/HIV infection are considerably lower than the UK's but as usual whenever sex and children are mentioned in the same sentence some beige cardigan wearing uptight virgin in Milton Keynes has to write in and it's happened again today!!

"How does sex education for 5 year olds stop teenage pregnancy? Let's allow children to be children for as long as we can."

Well dumbass let me explain - it's not like schools are going to be giving condoms to small children but i would think a good way to start would be by letting children know where babies come from and also letting them know what to do is right and wrong in terms of their bodies ie - if an adult touches them sexually. The process of delivering sex education is a long one and should be built up gradually but a good change would be to not just focus on the biological aspects. If i had learnt at school that sex could be painful, about feelings, relationships and break ups rather than trying to get my head around long division (which i have not used once since i learnt it) i may be a more rounded and sorted individual.

If this education is introduced children and young people should feel able to negotiate the sex they want, have lots of information about safer sex and generally have a positive attitude towards sex. I can pretty much guarantee that the person's attitude above will lead to him having 5 grandchildren by the time he is 35

To end with humour, the Radio Times have run a survey to find the best TV put downs and there are some classics!

Mrs Merton - The Mrs Merton Show. To Debbie McGee: "So what first attracted you to the millionaire Paul Daniels?"
Roseanne Conner - Roseanne. To husband Dan: "Your idea of romance is popping the can away from my face."
Carla - Cheers. Cliff: "I'm ashamed God made me a man." Carla: "I don't think God's doing a lot of bragging about it either."
Patsy Stone - Absolutely Fabulous. "One more facelift on this one and she'll have a beard."
Jim Royle - The Royle Family. Nana: "Is this hat too far forward?" Jim: "No. We can still see your face."
The Professor - The Mary Whitehouse Experience. "I have here a copy of your book, Origins of the Crimean War. It smells of poo." "That's because it's been inside your mum's bra."
Dr Perry Cox - Scrubs. Dr Elliot Reid: "I don't think you understand the severity of the situation here. I am dangerously close to giving up men altogether." Dr Cox: "Then on behalf of men everywhere - and I do mean everywhere, including the ones in little mud huts - let me be the first to say thanks and hallelujah."
Gary Strang - Men Behaving Badly. "Let's face it, Tony, the only way you're gonna be in there is if you're both marooned on a desert island and she eats a poisonous berry or a nut which makes her temporarily deaf, dumb, stupid, forgetful and desperate for sex."
xx

Apologies for the blog delay!!

My parents were here at the weekend and we managed to get out and about quite a bit. On Saturday we went to the National Portrait Gallery and spent a couple of hours wandering around, how many nice looking men can you fit into one gallery? I was feeling slightly guilty for eyeing up guys whilst i was with my parents but needs must. Following that we went to Harrods -why i do not know, it really is the tackiest place! Just the way its done out is as if someone has swallowed money and barfed it up all over the place.

On Saturday night we went to see "There will be blood" - i did enjoy it but it is pretty slow moving, Daniel Day Lewis is magnificently evil in it and totally deserved the Oscar for his performance. Paul Dano was also fantastic. However, there is such a build up to the end of the film and it really was one of the most difficult scenes i have ever watched - be warned!

Well i managed to miss the Oscars again this year but i was very pleased that Daniel Day Lewis and Marion Cottilard won Best Actor and Actress, Have not had chance to have a look at what people were wearing but i did see Tilda Swinton and that girl needs to be introduced to the concept of make up, she is always so pale - a bit like casper the friendly ghost wearing couture. It's a shame that even though the Oscars ceremony is usually camp as xmas, the organisers of the show still see it fit to ignore the gays! Scott Rudin was one of the producers of the Best film winner "No Country for Old Men" and thanked his male partner during his speech but this was edited out for TV. What the fuck is that about?

In the last 2 weeks homophobia has reared it's ugly head in 2 grisly incidents, 50 year old Peter Jeffrey Akers was found stabbed to death in a gents toilet in Walton on Thames and on Monday night a 25 yr old gay man was stabbed to death in Manchester's gay village. Arrests have been made but it's just tragic that these crimes are still happening in 2008.

I was rather exhausted last night so was in bed pretty early and had a really good sleep, I woke this morning to a text from my mother asking if i had felt the quake? It seems that everyone apart from me felt the rather hefty quake shake at 1am. I was probably dreaming about shipwrecked drag queens or englebert humperdinck.

I am off to Sheffield this weekend to have a dance and a drink with my girls which should be fun and then am in Nottingham with work for a few days so it may well be a blogless week!

More random mutterings tomorrow though

xx

Friday is here!!

Alas the party time will have to wait til after the weekend as my parents are staying this weekend so it's going to be a rather sober weekend but it will be great to see them.

Finally i see someone has left a comment on the blog, thanks James!! I will have you know that Gary Barlow may have once been the chubby guy in Take That who can't dance but believe me the boy has been working out and is now the hottie in Take That who can't dance. Well i rather like the look of him anyway






I was going through some old books last night and found Ellen Degeneres' first book of short stories, i can remember flicking through it in a 2nd hand book shop when i was staying in Sydney and actually laughing out loud at this, i hope it has the same effect on you.




"Letter to a friend"

Dear Morgana,

I just wanted to drop you a quick note to thankyou for inviting me to your party last week. I'm not very good at parties but i guess you know that by now. I feel awkward at them and tend to overcompensate by acting in a way that others who don't know me well might consider a tad wierd. However, you know me well and besides, you're a very perceptive and i might add, very forgiving person.

I guess what I'm trying to say is that I am really sorry for what happened. Maybe it was good though, maybe this will be one of those things that a little while from now you'll look back on and laugh at. Ok, maybe it will be longer than a little while. Eventually though, after at most a few decades, theres bound to be some laughter. Isn't there? Oh god, I'm so sorry.

I know that we're good enough friends that i could just call you on the phone but i thought a letter would be preferable for two reasons. One, often it's easier to say things in a letter than it is to say them in person and two, you don't seem to be answering my phone calls anymore.

Sometimes nobody answers the phone - even if i let it ring over 500 times (I've counted) At other times, somebody who sounds like you (but I'm sure isn't) answers and asks who it is, when i say "Ellen" that person (who as i said before, I'm sure isn't you, because you are much too compassionate) immediately develops an obviously fake Russian accent and says "She not home, She move far away to place with no phone, I begging you, please leave alone"

All that being said, let me begin my apology.

I think a lot of what happened can be traced back to the Rum cake I brought over. I just looked over the recipe, and i see now that it called for 2 tablespoons of Rum. For some reason, maybe because i was nervousbecause i don't cook that much, i misread that as 2 bottles of rum. It's an honest mistake and your little nephews were eventually going to find out what a hangover is anyway.

I had at least 2 slices of the Rum cake and i believe that's why i blurted out that your real name is marge. I thought everybody already knew. I also thought that everybody would find your old nickname "Large Marge" funny. I understand now that it isn't funny. Anyway it shouldn't bother you because you're not heavy anymore. Oh yes, I'm also sorry i told people about your liposuction, but at least i didn't tell people about your breast enlargement surgery, oh that's right, i did. sorry.

As for what i call "the charades incident", for some reason i get a little competitive(ok, way too competitive) playing party games - once again, to make up for my own insecurities. That's why when Reverend Green couldn't figure out i was doing "fried green tomatoes" and kept guessing ""mules for sister sarah" (which you have to admit doesn't even have the same number of words) I got mad.

That in no way excuses my calling him a god damned rat $£$%* (*&&^%%$ &^$£$$" eating moron. Isn't it cute when you write curses out that way? It's too bad i didn't say it like that. Also, when i jokingly implied that he was a child molester, I had no idea about the recent trial (though i am happy to hear that all the charges have been dropped)

Now, the gift. I was under the mistaken impression (boy hindsight is always twenty twenty isn't it?) that the party was for your wedding shower. That's why I got what i considered to be a gag gift. I didn't know it was a party for your grandmother's 90th birthday. Otherwise i would never have gotten her crotchless panties and the coupon for a free nipple piercing.

I admit i laughed pretty hard when your granny opened the present (sorry about the wine coming out of my nose onto your new rug, club soda should get out that stain, not cola like i tried), but i thought she was laughing too. Now i know she was hyperventilating. I swear I've never seen anybody's face turn that red before, that is why i shouted out " look at her, heh heh, she looks like a big tomato!"

Not funny.

I am glad to hear that your granny is now out of the hospital. I'm the one who sent the big basket of muffins. Nobody told me she was diabetic. She only ate a few of them and when i called the hospital they said that at most that added 3 days to her stay there - maybe 4.

This part is the hardest to explain. I know that when you opened the door to your bedroom it looked like i was shaving your dog. Well, I was shaving your dog.....but not for the reason you might think. I didn't say "Hmmm i think Marge's dog - I'm sorry, Morgana's dog - would look better with less hair" though you have to admit, the cut does give Colonel Chompers an interesting look and makes him seem quite distinguished (I don't care what the judges at the dog show said)

What happened was, in trying to spit my gum across your kitchen and into the trash (a trick I do remarkably well, usually) I missed and the gum landed in Colonel Chompers fur, I tried to pull it out, but it just made it worse. So i snuck him into your bedroom with the hope of finding some scissors and cutting the gum out. I didn't locate scissors but i did find your Lady Gilette and thought, hey this might work - which eventually it did. The gum came out. I am sorry that some got on your drapes. I thought they were tissue paper.

But, you have every right to ask, why was i wearing your bathing suit whilst shaving your dog? Good question - in looking for your scissors, i found the bathing suit in the 3rd drawer of your bureau (I didn't look in your 2nd drawer so there is no need to be embarassed) I had seen that suit ina store that day and thought it might look good on me. So I figured this was a good opportunity to try it on.

I believe you see now that there was a logical explanation for everything that happened at your otherwise very successful party.

I hope that you find it in your heart to forgive me and we can be as good friends as we were before last weekend

Love

Ellen

P.S Oh yes, I almost forgot. I'm also sorry that i bit your fiance, I mean ex fiance on the ass. Oops!

Oh i could write a few letters like that!!

Right i am off for a weekend with the folks, have a drink for me.

xx

Well last night was the Brit Awards, i thought i was going to miss it this year but changed my plans and headed over to Pete's to catch the show. Mika opened the show with a medley of his hits, i have to admit i am not a fan of the frizzy haired, screechy, closeted little wierdo and at one point his schreeching got so out of control i assumed he was trying to communicate with dolphins, his performance was saved by Beth Ditto who joined him briefly to belt out "Standing in the way of control" - which is easily one of the best songs of the last year.

The performances in general last night were a little lacklustre, Rihanna sang Umbrella but was rather pointlessly joined by the Klaxons and some epileptic fit inducing lasers, she did look fierce though so i can forgive. Kylie looked stunning with her new hairdo and high as heaven heels but girlfriend needs to shoot her choreographer!! I do not want to see another Kylie performance with dancers doing robotic moves with helmets on, i wasn't that keen when she did it the first time which was years ago, can you imagine how i feel about it now?

There were some amazing performances though - Leona Lewis blew me away!! singing her song "Bleeding Love" - she was a true star and slammed every note home, watch out mariah and whitney, there is a new bitch on the block and she is from Hackney! The biggest cheer of the night was reserved for Ms Amy Winehouse, we definitely got our moneys worth - she performed as part of a medley with Mark Ronson singing "Valerie" and she looked great, she said in an interview last year that the more nervouse and insecure she feels, the bigger her hair gets - well last night she must have been shitting it as her hair was through the roof and thankfully so was her voice. She performed again singing my fave "Love is a losing game" and even managed to mouth "love you" to the camera - i presume that was for her waste of space junkie husband, get rid of him honey - hugs not drugs!

Who had the stupid idea to get Vic "I have not said anything funny since Shooting Stars finished" Reeves to present the Best British Album award?, he was blatantly pissed and Sharon Osborne had to tell him to piss off, well there is always one drama at these awards. Anyways it was great to see Take That winning a couple, especially since Gary Barlow was looking especially yumma yumma yumma! Arctic Monkeys did their usual " aren't we crazy getting pissed at an awards do and wearing funny clothes" yeah whatever boys just say thanks and get off the stage.

I saw in the Metro yesterday an article with the headline "Kylie loves the gays" and then on Heat magazine's website today there is the headline "the gays love david beckham" - since when is it acceptable to just make a sweeping statement about us? I think there would be a slight outcry if a gay magazine said "the straights all like wetherspoons" or "the straights all love man made fabrics". Let's try and use language properly innit!

xx

After mentioning the Bridgend suicides yesterday the death toll has now gone up to 17 following the suicide of Jenna Parry who hanged herself from her tree in a small town just 5 miles away from Bridgend. Action is now being taken and "experts" are being sent into all the local schools to talk to pupils.

Well tonight is the Brit awards, Amy Winehouse is due to make an appearance in a Mark Ronson medley alongside the fabulous Adele! Ozzy and Sharon Osborne are hosting the event tonight and let's just hope it is not a car crash like the infamous Sam Fox/ Mick Fleetwood hell!! I hope Take That scoop quite a few as their comeback has been fantastic and they are essentially a great pop group.

In the latest edition of Q Magazine they have asked readers to vote for their Top 50 Best British Albums and i have to say the results are quite surprising, Oasis are at No.1 with Definitely Maybe which i have to say is one of my favourite indie albums, i remember buying it the day it came out in the good old days of tapes!! No.2 is Oasis' 2nd album - Whats the story morning glory which again is a great album but when i used to work behind the bar at Sheffield University Student Union, it was on the jukebox constantly and during an 8 hour day shift it did get a little bit annoying. The big surprise for me is that Keane are at No.8 with their latest album "Under the iron sea" - I do really like Keane and they were fantastic at Live Earth but the album is only ok and has managed to beat some great records including - Urban Hymns by The Verve, The Bends by Radiohead, Abbey Road by The Beatles, The Queen is Dead by The Smiths and all 3 Coldplay albums - i suspect foul play!

Madonna has dismissed the rumours that she is going to be performing at New York's Central Park on her 50th Birthday on August 16th but there is no doubt that she will be performing somewhere this year! She may even do small gigs to launch her new album towards the end of April.

I stayed in last night and listened to lots of music that i had not heard for a long time, most of it depressing but i find i do my best thinking with a glass of wine and some sad music. I have decided that tonight will be my last session with the good old emotional stylist. I am not in the same place as when i started, i have come to realise that when i do reflect on the bad things that happened to me, i now focus on what it took for me to get out of that situation - the realisation that i am not in it anymore, that i am better and it took strength, guts and courage to get out. Also that since then i have changed my life unbelievably and have even managed a few relationships. The main aspect that has got me through this whole process are my friends and i can't thank them enough, for being there, for listening to me when i am down, for taking me out and taking my mind off the bad stuff and for just being truly loyal and amazing - i just wanted to say thankyou.

So now its time to move on and start looking forward, i do feel like a different person and part of that feeling will lead to change, nothing massive but i have a different outlook on what i want from life now, mainly i want to be happy, before this i honestly didn't think i deserved that, i focused on making other's happy without looking out for myself but sometimes that led to misplaced loyalty and selfishness on my part and that is part of what i want to change. I am also going to start being more honest about how i feel, i used to be a master at hiding my emotions and constantly saying i was "fine" but fine is not a feeling and says nothing about how you truly feel.

Anyway i am sure there will be more mentions of all this in the future but for now that's it, i just need to get on with it really!

If anyone see's God today could you perhaps ask him to turn the heating on - i am frikkin freezing!!

xx

Am i missing something?

You must have heard in the news that last week another young person took their own life in Bridgend in South Wales, this happened the day after her cousin committed suicide. This brings the total number of youth suicides in the area to 16 in the last 13 months. The local politicians and police have said categorically that there is no link between the suicides. So let me get this right 16 young people all kill themselves by hanging in 13 months in one town and no one thinks there is anything dodgy going on. Call me crazy but i am leaning to the "there so is something dodgy going on" side of the argument. Social networking sites such as Bebo and Myspace have been at the heart of the investigations as they are a key way for young people to communicate. Maybe i am the only person that finds this all a bit strange but if i was living in that town I would have to start asking some serious questions about how young people were communicating with each other, start looking at ways of getting young people to interact in a more positive way and actually take the initiative to address these issues in education. I just hope something can be done before another true waste of a young life - it's just so sad.

Well tomorrow night is possibly my last session with my emotional stylist, i am feeling a lot better from seeing her. It has been a painful, traumatic, tearful, eye opening and life shifting experience. I am looking at my life and my future differently now and the past has a whole new perspective - one that will not hold me back, a past that i can acknowledge but not let rule my life. To be honest i do think tomorrow night will be my last session, i usually hate endings but this ending will lead to a new beginning. I seem to have been dealing a lot with misplaced affection over the last year. I just need to get out there and start realising that i am a good guy and deserve a good life and if someone wants to be with me to celebrate that and build a relationship then that's fine but i am going to get to where i am going anyway.




One of my favourite bands "The Counting Crows" are sneaking back on the scene after a break of several years. They have a new album out towards the end of March and are also healding the sunday of the o2 Wireless Festival in Hyde Park on 6th July. I really wanna go so am going to try and get tickets. That weekend will be a busy one as it's also London Gay Pride on the saturday. I am usually working at the pride event and am sure this year will be no exception so a nice day following that will be just what i need.

I am still not watching TV so am "sadly" missing the new fly on the wall show about Kerry " I don't see in what respect i am at all chavvy" Katona but judging by first reports it's a car crash, well a cortina and capri car crash. Kerry who is heavily preganant during the series is seen smoking, her husband says that she had massive tits when they met but they are heading south now, the crew from the show have also reportedly talked about the abusive names Kerry's husband calls her and the amount of affairs he has had. I may loathe the woman but she needs to get away from people who are just after cashing in on her "fame" and allegedly "robbing her house"



Poor, Poor Cheryl Cole, the number of stories about her husbands infidelity seem to be rising by the day. Remember all those rumours before they got married that threw doubt on Ashley Cole's sexuality and then he got married to a person equally famous in the public eye and then the gay rumours obviously stopped. Any other jaded person might suggest that all these stories of affair's with blonde page 3 look a likes is a total set up to ease the Cole's out of the marriage and yet still keep the gay rumous at bay. I of course would never suggest such a thing, that would be ranting and rumour mongering which is something i simply refuse to be a part of.

xx

Well the weekend is over and a week of work is looming.

I have had a long weekend as i finished work on thursday lunchtime to meet my friend Kerri and her 2 sons Eli and Dylan. We had a busy couple of days planned so it was all systems go. Eli is 6 and Dylan has just turned 8 so everything had to be child friendly. The first stop was the Natural History Museum which was fun for all. Although there were points that even me and Kerri thought were a tad innappropriate - the stuffed animals eating each other was not exactly the nicest thing to see. However, the boys loved the Dinosaurs and the simulated earthquake so that was fine. We got home and had food and watched the DVD "Night at the museum" - it's kinda ok if a bit cheesy and i can't help but loathe Ben Stiller.

Friday morning we headed to the British Museum to looks at lots of Egyptian tombs and Islamic plates. We also managed to get totally lost and it took us about half an hour t leave the building. After that we went to Starbucks as we wanted to experience the worst customer service ever, this included toilets that didn't work, staff not seeming to understand that children would need hand towels to dry their hands after washing them and then just as we thought things could not get worse a member of staff walked right past the boys and said at the top of her voice "jesus f*cking christ!" - charmed i'm sure.

Friday afternoon we had booked to go on the duck bus which is basically a tour bus that goes round the sights and then goes straight into the thames. The tour was quite fun, our guide reminded us of Jack Dee and going into the thames was fun although be warned it goes very slowly! so even thought you are in the water for 40 minutes you basically just get to see the houses of parliament. After that we headed to Angel for some much needed Pizza Express before heading to the cinema to see the only child friendly film on - "National Treasure - Book of Secrets" - the new Nicholas Cage film, it was way too confusing for the boys, i thought i would enjoy it but by the end i was wanting to jab 2 biros in my eyes - how the marvellous Helen Mirren could attach herself to this film is beyond me, they must have padi her the big bucks!

On Saturday we surprised the boys by taking them to Hamleys!! I love that store and so did the boys, they were so smiley and both got lots of lovely things, a quick lunch and then back to Sheffield they went. I was left feeling shattered, kids are hard work! they eat all the time!! it was so lovely to see them thought and they were so well behaved and polite. I am seeing them agin in 2 weeks when i head up to Sheffield.

After 2 days of children i was in much need of adult company so headed to Angel to meet Pete and David for talk of men and booze! great to catch up, Oliver came over on Saturday night and we headed out to Bar Music Hall in Shoreditch for Jodie Harsh's night which was full of fashionistas judging each other, thankfully there was anice tranny on the door who let us straight in despite the queue, guess we must have looked the part, that was followed by a couple of beers in the lovely Joiners Arms on Hackney Road. Felt quite hungover yesterday despite not actually drinking much. A coffee with Pete, Kaz and T soon sorted me out and i spent the rest of the night curled up on the sofa watching a Dylan Moran dvd, the man is a genius and had me in fits. So all in all a good weekend. Not sure what this week has in store, next weekend will be another quiet one as my parents are coming to stay, this is actually a good thing as i wont be drinking myself crazy and may even get to see some culture.

I think i may have spoken to soon regarding Madonna's directorial debut, it seems that most critics have not been so kind. Ah well the single and the album will be out soon so thats something for me to get excited about. I have a feeling this album is going to be one of her best yet, there is a huge buzz around it already and not just in my head

xx

Someone needs to pick me up off the floor!!

Madonna premiered her directorial, debut "Filth and Wisdom" at the Berlin Film Festival last night looking fierce might i add, The Times has already reviewed it and it's a good review!!!!! I thought after Madonna's mainly disastrous film career the days of good reviews were dead a buried but it turns out as a director she is pretty good, check the review and the fierce pics!!

Yet despite its many shortcomings and an ending so mushy and neat it would embarrass Richard Curtis, Madonna has done herself proud. Her film has an artistic ambition that has simply bypassed her husband, the film director Guy Ritchie. She captures that wonderfully accidental nature of luck when people’s lives intersect for a whole swathe of unlikely but cherishable reasons. Altmanesque would be stretching the compliment too far, but 'Filth and Wisdom' shows Madonna has real potential as a film director.



As mentioned yesterday - it is Valentine's Day today, sadly i left the house before the post arriveed so i assume when i get home later the door will have to be kicked open due to the sheer level of post!! deluded table for one!

I am off the blog for a few days now so have a good weekend and if you don't have that special someone to keep you company just think - things could be worse - you could be living with Kerry Katona! be thankful!

xx

The hilarious comedian Alan Carr recently dedicated part of his stand up set to the new trend of people saying "LOL" in emails and text messages. As i understand LOL either stands for "laugh out loud" or "lots of love" - i only ever use it if i am chatting on the internet and find something slightly funny, it saves my fingers getting tired. I am as guilty of this laziness of language as the next person but i do try and at least use it in context. I just got a message on facebook that was just 2 and a half lines long but LOL was used 3 times!! the person could not believe they had a new job...LOL, did they really laugh out loud when they heard of their new employment status, if they did then their new manager probably thought they were a nutter. The next use of LOL comes when the person talks about the fact that they do not have a man in their life at the moment .....LOL!!! oh yes hilarious, in my current single status i often spend evenings at home alone laughing myself silly at the sheer pathetic excuse of a love life that surrounds me. The third and thankfully final use of the LOL explosion is used to end the message "we must catch up, we haven't seen each other for years....LOL" - believe me honey if you are going to be laughing out loud if we ever do meet again i may have to "PYIFOAB" = "push you in front of a bus"....LOL!!

Going back to my pathetic excuse for a love life, it's valentines day tomorrow, i have written on this blog before about my sheer contempt for a day that basically puts me in training to become a serial killer, all these supposedly happy couples dashing onto buses and trains with clinton cards bags and flowers are so perky i would like to drive nails through their heads...but i am not a violent person or bitter in any way, all these "happy" couples are probably just feeling really ties down and their partners are probably cheating on them anyway. This will be my 6th!! year in a row of being single on the 14th February and i have become quite good at developing survival techniques, ways of distracting myself from the perky and loved up. Tomorrow my dear friend Kerri is arriving in London with her 2 sons Eli and Dylan, Elia is 7 and Dylan is 8 and it's the boys 1st ever trip to London so i get to play Uncle Pippy for 3 days and what a 3 days is is shaping up to be, with trips planned to the Natural History Museum, The Science Museum and a trip round London on the legendary Duck bus (basically a london tour bus thats shaped like a duck that goes from land direct into the thames!!!! i think me and Kerri are more excited than the boys!

This will be a great way to spend the weekend, I consider myself to be pretty good with children and these boys are true little gems with a fabulously cool mother who hs raised them maginificently. We are going to have sooo much fun!! I think there may even be time for Uncle Pippy and Mummy Kerri to grab a glass or 2 of wine.

Tonight is my potentially penultimate session with my emotional stylist, i need to see how i do over the next 2 sessions to see if i need to carry on but i have to say i am getting to the roots of some very deep rooted problems. Most of them relate to the way my ex treated me and how this has affected my relationships since then, the fact that i have not had a long term relationship for 6 years is quite telling. Basically i have not been taking care of myself for a long time, eating properly, drinking and smoking too much etc, My ex really made me feel that i was pretty much useless and worth nothing and really rather ugly, there is that old saying if you hear something enough times you start to believe it and i now know that this has happened to me. I don't take care of myself because i didn't feel that i was worth it and if i go out on the scene looking for a man i am so distrustful and scared of rejection that i just stick with my friends. However, if i meet someone that is charming, thoughtful and kind i put too much affection their way and scare them off, this has happened twice in the last year! I now know that i have to get to a point in my life where i am happy with who i am. Some of the exercises i have been doing over the past 4 weeks have really helped me to remove assumptions that i make about myself, that stop me from moving forward.

I have also been able to start kicking in the walls that my bastard ex built up around me. I have a great group of friends who show me so much love and support and that in itself proves to me that i am a person who has worth and is appreciated. It's just a shame that one man's harsh words and acts have managed to rob me of so much trust and happiness. I am not going to let him get me down anymore, it's not worth it - all that negative self doubting energy is going to be turned around, this year will be a happy one, i may find love, i may not but i am sure as hell going to make sure i have fun trying, it feels like i am finally getting to know what i want and who i am - after years of confusion and questions, i am getting to a place with answers, solutions and a fresh outlook. I am sleeping a lot better and am able to look at myself in the mirror with enthusiastic eyes. I am going to be fine, in fact better than fine.

xx

well it's all a bit slow on the old news front today so i have dipped into the good old Sheffield forum discussion board to see what the people of my home city are asking about, as per usual there are some corkers -

Q - Where can i buy a bathroom mirror?

A - Pretty much any furniture shop on the planet

I am not sure if the same person asked this question

Q - Are there any bathroom shops in Sheffield?

A - Of course! you might want to try having a look through the phonebook or this new fangled thing called the internet

Q - Where can i buy top soil?

A - either scrape it off your children or try a garden centre

Q - How do i book a taxi to take me to the airport?

A - "Hello can i book a taxi to the airport please?"

Q - Where do i go to get a sperm count?

A - what do you think? i would not advise using a calculator, there are these people we on planet earth call doctors, try calling them?

It does make me worry that these are the same people who may be in charge of running our lives.




xx

Well has it been a gorgeous sun soaked weekend or what?

Thursday night i was invited over to lovely james and lovely jim's flat for dinner which was lovely, actually eating proper food for a change is always a good thing and great company made it a very enjoyable evening. Friday night i met up with Oliver and went to see "The Homecoming" by Harold Pinter at the Almeida Theatre in Islington. I was so excited about seeing Danny Dyer that i had almost forgotten what the play was about. When he came on stage i audibly gasped, he is simply stunning. The play is set in the 60's in an all male house in London, a family that are in desperate need of female influence after the death of the wife and mother that ruled the roost. Towards the end of the 1st half the long lost son of the family returns with his rather glamorous wife and she sets about turning the dynamics of the household upside down. Some people seem to interpret the play as a trubute to the power of feminism, others may see it as a woman being aminpulated by the misplaced passions of the men. I was not clear by the end but the acting was great and i got to see my Danny!!

After the play we headed into Soho for a few drinks, firstly at the new gay bar Enclave which seemed a tad pretentious and expensive with guys posing and judging but i guess i am just as guilty of that, we then headed to geisha which i am really liking at the minute, followed by escape which is always good for a laugh and then settled in at Ku bar - all good but felt a slight headache on saturday.

The sun was out on Saturday so i had a nice walk up to Angel for a bit of window shopping and just chilled out, headed into Soho on Saturday night to meet up with Pete, Kaz, Dan etc for drinks but i have to admit Soho was hateful, the bars were rammed and we seemed to spend most of the night waiting to be served by slow bar staff making complicated drinks - grrr!!

The weekend was interrupted rather badly with the awful news that a huge blaze had ripped through Camden Market, I am not the hugest fan of Camden Market - it gets too busy and is full of people who should really up sticks and move to Brighton where their platform trainers and pink dreadlocks would be accepted and treasured. i am sad though that the ever present whiff of Patchouli has been drowned out with flames and smoke and hope that Camden gets back on its feet soon.

Yesterday was fab, I had a morning of listening to many indie classics whilst tidying the flat, Tony and Anna came round in the afternoon with booze, fruit, a blender and we spent the afternoon inventing cocktails and watching comedy, a perfect way to spend a sunday in my opinion.

I didn't watch the BAFTA's last night but am very pleased that Marion Cottillard won Best Actress for her role in "La Vie En Rose" and also Atonement winning best film was much deserved. I am dying to see the new Daniel Day Lewis film as he seems to be winning every award going.

The headliners for this years Glastonbury Festival have been announced and they are pretty dull!! Friday night = Kings of Leon, Saturday night = Jay Z, Sunday night = The Verve, zzzzzz, how buggin is that?? I am not sure who else is playing but i am not actually that bothered now - boo!!

This week is busy with work but i am going to try and have nights in as preparation for a child filled weekend. Yes my friend Kerri is bringing her 2 sons Ely and Dylan for their 1st ever visit to London!! yay!! lots of fun things planned!!

xx

Now where did i put that $600,000??

Well last night Madonna hosted a benefit for her charity Raising Malawi alongside UNICEF and Gucci. The total raised on the night was $3.7 million, It was mainly an suction with prizes including a kick about with David Beckham but the largest single amount of money raised on the night was for the opportunity to tour with Madonna and take a dance class with her! That is my dream! To say that she turns 50 in just a few months, she is looking amazing!!! check it




Last night i did a speech at Southwark Cathedral for LGBT History Month, i was talking about my coming out process alongside 4 other speakers including Michael Brown, a guy that i had not heard of before who started campaigning for gay rights in this country in 1954!! this is amazing considering homosexuality was not legalised until 1967. This again is why LGBT history month matters, it's guys like this that built the bridge for mine and future generations and i think we all need a reminder of how far we have come.

As i find out this morning we still have a way to go, in my home city of Sheffield a group called the "Christian Peoples Alliance" have presented Sheffield City Council with a petition that has been signed by 838 people opposing gay adoption. The petition states - "If ever any children of mine had to be placed into a new family for fostering or adoption I would wish that placement to include both mother and father. "Please would the Council take this into consideration when placing children for fostering and adoption. It is my understanding that the sexual orientation regulations that came into force last year make it illegal to discriminate on the grounds of sexual orientation when accessing goods or services. The law applies to adoption agencies. I am not sure how far this group expect to get with this petition. I get so pissed off with people saying that the only family unit that counts is one that features a mother and a father - what about single parents?? Does it say somewhere that gay people are incapable of giving a child a loving, supporting home? I would love to be in the position to have children one day and actually can't imagine my life without it and for someone to say without meeting me that this can't happen is totally ignorant and exhibits prejudice at it's very worst.

I am getting rather excited - tomorrow night i am off to the Almeida Theatre to see Harold Pinter's play "The Homecoming" - the main reason for my excitement is Danny Dyer, he is pretty much my ideal man - tall, dark and hondsome wit that cockney accent that just makes me want to hear him say "alright darlin!" - mmmm.



No blog tomorrow but a full review will be here on monday with a belated boudoir boy

xx

Anyone reading this blog would probably think that i am out and proud to everyone i know but until recently that was not the case. I came out to my parents, brother and most of my friends when i was 16 but alas my dad's side of the family are quite religious and my parents were worried about their reaction, at first it didn't matter to me as i had already moved out of the family home and not long after that i left Sheffield totally, since then i barely see any of them more than once a year - it has proved to be quite an arduous task to not mention partners or the work that i do but i have managed to get through the "do you have a girlfriend yet?" by just fake smiling and not answering.

Cut to last week and i logged onto the addiction that is Facebook to see that my 2nd cousin had added me as a friend. I was fine about this but then realised that if she looked at my profile she would see that i was a raging mo! I called my mother to see what she thought but my dad answered - he does not really talk about my sexuality but he immediately asked if she had been in touch and i said yeah but if i add her she will know about me, his response was "oh just add her and come out, it's gone on long enough" - well go papa!!

I added my 2nd cousin and sent a message "coming out", she asked if she could talk about it with the family and i said go for it, since then i have had calls from people i have not heard from in a long time, not berating me but congragulating me and saying how proud they are and wish they had known sooner, This is great - i can now talk about the work that i do and boyfriends (well when i get one i can talk about him).

It feels so strange to have this going on now, i thought my coming out days were well behind me but it just goes to show that the coming out process lasts a lifetime, thats why we need prides, thats why we need history month - things may have improved for LGBT people but the personal journey of acceptance is the most important of all, legislation can be changed, rights can be secured but until you are happy in your own skin and the people in your life are happy with the you that you are happy with, you still have some way to go - just be thankful there are people who love you to get you through.

xx

Oh my god!!!

News has reached pippyrants towers about the new Madonna video and i can't believe it!! the video for the single "4 minutes to save the world" sees Madonna playing a dominatrix latex catsuit wearing pimp who rescues the planet in an impressive 240 seconds. Justin Timberlake and Timbaland play her bitches!! In the sexually charged video, Madge cracks the whip and gets her slaves, Justin and Timbaland, to do whatever she wants as she towers over their quivering bodies in killer heels. The video ends with a sweat dripping dance off between Justin and Madonna! I could cry with happiness, my gash is gushing!

Well this weekend was an even mixture of sedate and crazy, i was working quite early on Saturday so had a night in on friday watching way too many episodes of Will and Grace. Saturday was spent at a conference which was semi-interesting and after a quick dash home i got my glad rags on and headed into Soho for the danceathon!! it's all a bit of a blur really, i had hot pink legwarmers, a visor and wristbands, Dan had gone all out with a bling tastic white and gold tracksuit and gold trainers. Everyone looked ridiculous/amazing! I do remember dan lifting me up and twirling me round over his head in G-A-Y Bar to great effect and also pummelling the dancemats in soho rather badly. Great fun was had but alas i had to leave at 11 to make it to Vauxhall with Paul for another birthday at Duckie, thankfully we were on the guest list as the queue was massive, the place was rammed!!

Each week at Duckie they have some performance art, i am never sure about the concept of performance art and often look on thinking "well i could do that", but i guess that's the point i could do it but i dont, they do and thats their art! anyway Saturday's performer was Scottee, he is basically an alternative star of the gay scene in London, i don't totally get the appeal - he sprawls make up and paint all over himself and wears badly fitting dresses made of paper usually and sings rather badly - on top of all that he is ever so slightly morbidly obese and takes great pleasure in flopping his moobs out for all to see. Needless to say i felt violated and actually dry wretched about 3 times during his skit - not good times!



After the excessive drinking of saturday i have decided to really cut down on my alcohol intake, it is getting out of hand and i need to do something about it. I aint saying i am going to totally stop drinking but when i go out i shall try drinking slower as apparently it's not a race! Anyway due to borrowing so much cash last month i am again approaching being broke again so lots of nights will be spent in this month listening to power ballads and eating pot noodles




boo!!

xx

Dancing, Dancing, Dancing - He's a dancing machine!!

Oh yeah people it's the weekend and it's time to dance!! This weekend it's my friend Dan's birthday and he is having a danceathon in Soho, The basic theme involves going round lots of bars and drinking the alcohol provided in those bars and then heading to an amusement arcade and hitting those crazy dance mats!! It shall be a hilarious time and i can't wait!!!



Right after that i am heading down to Vauxhall to the alternative night Duckie with the lovely Paul to celebrate my mate Clive's birthday! Duckie is a very random night with performance art and random music but is always good for a laugh. I am hoping sunday will be a day of relaxation as this week has been very busy and i need to sit on my sofa and chill for a bit.

Registration for the Glastonbury Festival opened this morning which is very exciting, I am praying that i can get tickets this year as i need a good festival. Michael Eavis has already confirmed that Neil Diamond is playing the golden oldies slot so wonderfully filled by Dame Shirley of Bassey last year! Also he has said that a American Black Hip Hop star will be headlining one of the nights, the bets are on either Jay Z or Kanye West.

Well Alfie Allen made his debut last night in the national tour of Equus in the role that Daniel Radcliffe played at the gielgud last year, I have seen some photos this morning on the Heat website and he is very impressive and fills the role more than adequately, i was choked when i saw them actually.

I am moist with excitement about the new Madonna album, she is currently filming the video in London for the first single "4 minutes to save the world" with Justin Timberlake and Timbaland, Dolce and Gabbana are providing the fashion for the video and it is going to be fierce and very "urban"

THE IMAGINARY MEN OF PIPPY'S BOUDOIR

years ago there was an actor called Sean Maguire who appeared in Grange Hill and Eastenders, he was a rather fresh faced young chap but didn't really get my loins stirring after disappearing into the harsh world of American sitcoms for a few years he has resurfaced in a spoof of the film "300" and might i say he has blossomed somewhat! here is how he used to look



and here he is now - yummayummayumma, i wouldn't mind tasting his macho gazpacho!!




right that's me done i shall now go and prepare for looking fabulous on the dance mat tomorrow or maybe i shall just get tourists pointing and laughing whilst shouting "ha ha look at the funny gay fella"

laters

xx