Dear Facebook retards,

Hope you are well, Facebook was set up as a social networking site where people could get in touch with people that were not important enough to have a place in their mobile phone.

I now am beginning to realise this more and more day by day, first a message to a few of you who have recently set up an application that involves you opening a zoo, now daily i get updates on what animals you have in said zoo, YOU DONT OWN A ZOO!! THIS IS A POINTLESS EXERCISE, YOU HAVE NOT SAVED AN ANIMAL FROM EXTINCTION! YOU HAVE CLICKED YOUR MOUSE! I DO NOT WANT TO COME AND SEE YOUR RARE ALBINO LEOPARD because lets face it you work in a shit job in sheffield and could not afford one of those shit zoo animal toys that they sell at a knock off toy shop.

Secondly, to my dear friend from school who has 213736 different kids by 483738787 different fathers, i do not need to know that you are a fan of sleeping naked, being kissed on the neck or oral sex. what i do need to know is that you have had your tubes tied and no longer intend on breeding - mainly because next time i go to visit my parents i dont want one of your "delightful" offspring jacking me for my bling.

So please people get a grip, its just a website, you are not an leopard saving zookepper or a seductive temptress, you are a loon and an ex school bike

love and kisses

pip xx