Who died and made some northern lezza the oracle of gay language?

I got sent a report last week about violence against young gays in Manchester. I am not taking the piss and making jokes about homophobia because that is serious business and I am totally behind any initiatives to combat it. However, this report actually has a glossary that defines all the offensive terms - yeah that makes sense if someone can't think of a homophobic term to shout - the gays in Manchester have come up with a list to help you out.

The problem is the definitions are stupid, they don't make any sense and some of them just go too far

Exhibit A - fudge packer - now I assume most people who have heard this term or used this term know what it means but just in case you would like to use this in the future, here is the definition - "a man who has sex with a man who compresses faeces in the act of anal sex

Well firstly eeeewwwww!!! whose idea was it to include "faeces", lets just put the message across that all sex betweenmen gets a bit messy which is untrue, a great deal of gay men don't even like or have anal sex.

Exhibit B - Faggot - Personally i hate this word and find it to be venomous and hateful but lets check the definition - "sometimes used to refer to faggots (the food) which can look testicular in appearance"......what the fuck??? erm no.

Exhibit C - Limp Wristed - lets just go straight to the definition on this one, I have a feeling whoever wrote this was smoking some "special" cigarettes when they came up with this one - "a term and an action (to bend the hand at the wrist) used to imply someone is gay. Usually to imply that they are feminine/like a woman. The limp also implies weakness as well as a flaccid/non erect penis" - since when does limp wristed have anything to do with cocks? So next time I get an erection I must remember to high five someone!

Exhibit D - Uphill Gardener - "a term that refers to the act of anal sex that conjures up images of anal penetration and faeces (as a mud/soil analogy) - STOP SAYING FAECES!!!

Exhibit E - Greedy - "A term used by the heterosexual and LGBT community to imply that bisexual people are greedy and want to have sex with lots of people of both sexes" - right first of all don't define the word by just repeating the word, secondly they have said "LGBT" so are they suggesting that bisexual people are calling themselves greedy (oh if you didn't know already greedy means greedy)

and finally Exhibit F - Lemon - "a term referring to oral sex between women (sucking a lemon) which implies something bitter or unsavoury about the sexual act or a woman's vaginal fluids" - it does not mean that at all, it just starts with the same 2 first letters of the word lesbian, since when do you suck a minge?

This is the most stupid thing I have ever received at work and I can't believe they are sending it out, they have obviously thought it through well due to the majority of young people's agencies having firewalls, the offensive language used means it is being blocked everywhere - genius!!!

xx