Well my darlings i am back from a few days away from the blog and that damn facebook!

What have i been up to? well you nosey little fuckers i spent most of the bank holiday weekend either asleep or completely off my nut! Last friday i went out with workmates for a few light refreshments and then met up with Kaz, Tolu and Sherie for much merriment which basically involved us being very silly and me not getting home until 2pm on saturday afternoon!! I was rather tired for some reason and thought i would have a little sleep, i woke up at 10am on sunday morning!! Yes my saturday was gone, never to be seen again - i did actually feel wonderful which i suppose anyone would after nearly 20 hours sleep!

I hopped into Camden and bought some lil gorgeous things for the flat and then went to my local with the gays for lovely drinks in the sunshine. Monday i woke up yet again feeling rather sprightly and headed into town to buy a nice new shirt. Met up with Pete at the Black Cap in Camden and then headed up to Hampstead to meet the lezza's. all good fun!

On Tuesday i had to wait in my new pad for some piano movers! Basically i have had an old piano in my room since i moved in and it had to go! it was taking up much needed space, so some burly men came in and hufted it upstairs, one of the guys was really quite stunning and actually grunted whilst doing the grunt work - i fell in love on the spot but the romance was shortlived and ended with a lengthy stare and a slight wave before he grunted off into the distance.

Later that day my friend Pete arrived from Newcastle and we headed to the o2 arena to see the purple midget himself - Prince!! He was truly amazing! A genius! he performed so many hits, the fierce girls in front of us nearly collapsed with excitement, he held the crowd in the palm of his hand - the show did not seem to last long as he just went straight from one song to the next without taking a breath. If you get a chance to catch him before his run ends on the 21st September i urge you to do so.

On Wednesday night Pete and i went to see a play at the Rosemary Branch Theatre in Islington that his friend had directed, its a one man show called "Diary of a madman" starring fresh faced actor Christopher Tester. I was totally unsure what to expect but had a really enjoyable evening, the play leaves you with more questions than answers but is very thought provoking, again i highly recommend it, the show runs for three weeks until the 16th September.

in "who gives a shit" news - big brother ends tonight. the binty screaming twins are favourites to win, 2 more pointless, talantless celebrities are born.

THE IMAGINARY MEN OF PIPPYS BOUDOIR

Well as promised i am going back in time to some hotties of the past, starting off with one of the ultimate hotties of all time, his looks may not have lasted and he may have become ever so slightly morbidly obese but in his hey day he oozed sex appeal and ambiguous sexuality, its the smouldering Marlon Brando!






xx

Hoorah! It's friday and its a bank holiday weekend and i am off work for a week! This will most likely be my last blog entry for a week so you bitches better make the most of it. Plans for the weekend include getting rather drunk tonight with work mates, shopping for lots of domestic flat stuff tomorrow and then i may pop down to a black gay pride event in Vauxhall tomorrow. The rest of the weekend will involve hooking up with friends and having a jolly gay old time.

Long term readers of this blog (anybody out there?) may have realised that on tuesday it is the 1st anniversary of pippyrants and what a year it has been, simply satisfying the imaginary men of the boudoir has been quite exhausting, i have been stretched beyond endurance i can tell ya! The celebrity references, the ongoing battle to actually keep hold of a man for longer than it takes to eat a kebab, the consistent mentions of our gracious leader and the persistent slagging off of Jodie Marsh and Lisa Scott Lee for sinking lower than a worms tit, this has kept me off the streets and onto your screens.

When the blog returns next friday i shall be going back in time to look at some of the men who in their heyday would have been in my boudoir many, many occasions.

Not much to go on with the celebrity front today apart from a rather exciting rumour that Madonna and Justin Timberlake will be performing together at this years MTV Video Music Awards on the 9th September! I am dripping wet and gasping for air with anticipation. I just have no idea what her new music is going to sound like and that is one of the many joys of being a madonna obsessive!

Somebody has to do something about Amy Winehouse otherwise we are going to lose a truly great singer and fresh talent, I saw this picture on the internet this morning of Amy and her husband, they had just had a massive fight and ripped ten shades of shit out of each other. I know that part of the rock and roll lifestyle is living on the edge but this girl is in serious danger of falling off and not getting back up.




on a more lighter and hornier note

THE IMAGINARY MEN OF PIPPY'S BOUDOIR

I have not watched TV for 2 weeks now due to various technical problems at my new place so i missed the X Factor last saturday but i thought i may as well celebrate the show's new presenter. I dont usually like short men and this guy is most definitely short but he is also beautiful and did one of the best Madonna interviews i have seen in a long time. It's the lovely, yet hobbit sized Dermot O'Leary






Have a great bank holiday and a fab week, I shall return next friday!!

xxxxxxxxx

am dram thankyou mam!

well my little unwashed ones! this rain is starting to trouble my aura!! the bottoms of my jeans are constantly wet and i nearly went flying as i walked into work today, thankfully i managed to keep my balance and actually perfected a michael jackson spin and a pans people style high kick - woo woo!!

Well last night i went to see the lovely Paul in his new show in Pimlico. The event was called "A Night at the Movies" and featured songs from films such as Fame, Grease, The Godfather and James Bond. They all sounded amazing and there is something quite pure and beautiful about hearing a relatively large number of people singing, the same feeling i get listening to a full orchestra. Paul was duetting on the classic Dolly Parton number "Islands in the Stream" - there was rather a lot of chemistry between him and his female partner, now thats acting! and i was tempted to shout "FRAUD!" during the chorus of "My Girl" but i restrained myself and had a lovely evening.

Oh religious mentalists - what are you all about eh? Stephen Green, an activist with Christian Voice has questioned the presence of the National Front at Gay Pride Events on the basis that "homosexuals are not black or asian as a rule". Oh Stephen! you should carry a bucket round with you when you talk. Thank god that the majority of Christians do not follow your deluded and misguided beliefs about the world in which we all deserve to live.

xx

Hello lovelies,

Apologies for the blog delay but i have been in sunny Manchesterford! I always thought i hated Manchester due to maybe one too many bad nights out there but i really enjoyed popping out on their gay scene these last 2 days. I was in the city for a conference which was not exactly great but was still fun to meet up with lots of familiar faces.

On monday night i ended up in the club Cruz 101, i only wish i could remember anything, i do remember being stood outside Hollywood Showbar having sneaked my bottle out with me only to see one of the friends i was with being barred for taking his drink out - ooops!

Apparently there is mobile phone video footage of me dancing rather badly to copacabana! i have an awful feeling that it will end up on youtube or facebook anytime soon. I also remember trying to vogue and slightly looking like a twat. Yesterday i had many people walking up to me whilst pointing and laughing, then saying "you look as bad as i feel!" - nice.

The weekend went well, i bought and assembled all my furniture with the help of my folks and now the place is pretty much done, so bring on the guests!

This weather is troubling me, i was hoping for a sun soaked, beer soaked bank holiday weekend - i think i shall just be soaked. I have some domestic - ish shopping to do on saturday and no doubt a few lil drinkies splattered here and there.

It's coming up to the 1st anniversary of the pippyrants blog so i feel this week will be rather reflective but dont worry i am sure i will still manage to slag off the occassional celebrity and drool over members of the males species members. After all that is the glue thats keeps my 21341 personalities together

xx

Missing Pride

Well my lushes - its the weekend again, i have to say this week has gone about as quickly as a scorching case of herpes! but at last, it's friday and for the 1st time in a long time I pippy am not getting mash up this weekend! To be honest i could do with a weekend off and there is no way i could do it anyway as the pippy parents are heading to London to see my new confirmed batchelor pad.

Tomorrow we are off to IKEA so i can spend a small fortune on furniture and some little gorgeous things. Then it will be time to go back to the pad and start my favourite game - Flatpack challenge!! I bizarrely love assembling furniture - it's about the only practical, domestic thing i can do and there is a real sense of satisfaction seeing the finished article. I am dying to get my place just the way i want it and then the entertaining and murdering people with food can begin.

On sunday after the folks have gone i am off to Manchester to attend a big old gay conference. The days will be filled with the gay mafia talking about the many issues that affect our community and the nights will be filled with so much drinking that the morning after we will have a whole new range of issues to deal with. Joy!

My trip to Manchester does mean that i shall be missing Soho gay pride - i have to admit i am not mourning the loss of this. Soho pride basically consists of all the gay bars being rammed with loud, screaming queens, then being forced to negotiate Old Compton Street at a snails pace - erm no thankyou! I shall have a wee drink on Canal Street which is also going to be full of loud, screaming queens but at least they have that gorge northern accent and say "love" after everything

Not much celebrity news to report, so i shall just give you the headlines - Posh is pouting and trying to bring the word "major" into my vocab (it aint goin to happen), jodie marsh is still a c*nt, Lisa Scott Lee is still crying and Amy Winehouse is pissed.

THE IMAGINARY MEN OF PIPPY'S BOUDOIR

I was struggling today to find a man worthy of the boudoir but thanks to my friend Miss Daniella Jackson i now have one ready to pop!! I have not been watching Big Brother this year, if i wanted to watch stupid people shouting at each other all day i would live in Essex. Since i live on celebrity magazines i have been unable to avoid pics of the hottie in the house. It's the lovely, big big big Liam! He is all northern and big, did i mention he was BIG!!





Have a great weekend, i shall be back blogging on wednesday!

xx

oh good god i almost forgot!! heavens to madonna please forgive me!!!!

Today is our gracious leaders birthday!! Happy Birthday Madonna! Love you!

The Cossack RIP

At the tender age of 17 i joined the Sheffield Lesbian and Gay Youth group, it was my first opportunity to meet with otehr baby gays who were going through similar stuff to me. We met on a cold and dark morning outside the Crucible Theatre , there were about 10 of us, we were having a joint social event with the Young Lesbian Group. We piled into 2 cars and headed up to the Bowling Lanes in Hillsborough, It was great fun and i laughed a lot, everyone made me feel great, like i could really be myself.

After the bowling had finished everyone suggested that we head to a gay bar in the city centre called The Cossack, this filled me with fear and dread. In the playground and corridors of school, the rumours of what went on in the cossack were hideous, these included the stupid rumour that pound coins were stuck to the floor so when you bent down to pick it up you got royally buggered by some hairy backed mary!

I reluctantly went in to find out that it was a regular pub, like a proper old fashioned pub, i became quite the regular - until i felt confident i had to wait across the road to make sure no one saw me going in but after a few years i would stand outside in the summer bold as ass with my pint.

After being badly mismanaged for many years the bar closed down and it was with a tad of sadness that i heard recently that the whole bar had been knocked down to make space for regeneration projects. There was a whole lotta history in that bar, lots of kissing nice men and a few not so nice! The occassional lesbian bar fight, the grand old pound a pint night on tuesdays - happy days.

The gay scene had a much better feel in those days, a sense of community and solidarity. Now i go back to sheffield or most gay scenes around the country and that sense has long gone, maybe i am getting old or maybe i am just in love with the past but it was a great past and i for one am sad to see it go.

xx

Going from Pukka to Delish

I am the first one to admit that i aint no cook! In my first flat in London i never cooked anything, preferring to microwave or press speed dial 4 which got me through to "Perfect Pizza". Sarah Jessica Parker's character in "Sex and the City" then gave me the ingenious idea of using my oven for storage - i mean what else are those shelves for? ideal for shoes! Occassionally i would buy a pizza, remove the footwear from the cooking device and slip it out of its wrapping and pop it on gas mark 5 for 22 mins, i would get so hungry that after about 15 mins i used that phrase that i have used to describe food, men and in an emergency a bottle of WKD Blue, the phrase being "ah it'll do".

Now that i am living in my little self contained light and airy space and have the use of a well stocked kitchen i have decided to at least try and become the hostess with the mostest. No more shall my food preparation consist of "remove packaging and pierce film lid" oh no, now i am going to invite guests round, maybe one at a time to sample my "cooking".

Many of my friends have cooked for me before so i do actually intend on stealing their best recipes but i may also invest in cookery books! The times they are a changing and i feel the need to entertain. Once my flat is complete with furniture i shall be slapping my apron on and getting to work, and all i ask in return is a nice bottle of wine and good conversation.

The main reason for thinking like this is the news today that Jamie Oliver has scrapped the word Pukka from his vocab and has moved on to delish, I dont mind Mr Oliver, he shall never descend on my rather exclusive boudoir but i would give him a seeing to in return for a delish dish. I see myself as more a male Nigella, not actually cooking anything just sucking my fingers and friggin myself off by the balsamic. The most important cooking lesson i ever heard was by Miss Fanny Cradock - once she was doing a demonstration on TV and dropped the meat on the floor, she dusted it down, slapped it on the side, smiled at the camera and calmly said "and remember my dears YOU are the only one in the kitchen!"

xx

Phew! - well there goes another weekend! it was not the usual crazy fest although there were times when a new liver would have been an appealing option. Saturday was such a beautiful day so i popped along to a colleague's barbecue in his beautiful home in East London. There was such an amazing space outside and lots of lovely people and even more lovely punch, i was told it had many many ingredients including vodka and tequila - it tasted of fruit juice and was quite lethal. After downing quite a considerable amount and chowing my way through a burger, I made my way to the Big Chill Bar at Kings Cross to meet up with Pete, Kaz and the gang, We then went onto the Golden Lion gay bar which i sometimes go in after work, i can never do this again though - why did it have to be karaoke night? why did i think i was Amy Winehouse? I sang Rehab (badly), Pete then sang Hung Up by Madonna with me and kaz as his backing dancers - so bad, wrong and bad!

I woke up yesterday feeling adjacent to death! After a hearty breakfast and a read of the papers i made my way to the cinema to see Harry Potter, it was pretty good but since i am currently reading the new book it all seemed a bit much. I am overdosing on Mr Potter. Although Daniel Radcliffe did look mighty fine which is also wrong on many levels.

At the moment i am doing something that i seriously never thought i could do, I am living without television! I am watching dvd's and vids but i dont yet have access to any channels in my new place and i have to admit that i am not missing it a great deal, the one thing i do miss is the news. I can listen to the radio but the news on there is always too brief. I think i am getting it sorted this saturday but i am impressed that i have lasted and am not shaking in a corner somewhere.

Facebook is evil, and is taking over my life, I dont know what to do, someone help me, tell me how to ween myself off this site of heavenly features. I have heard all the dastardly stories of people being sacked for spending too much time in their working day scrolling for friends but it has no effect whatsoever. If i am not messaghing someone i am poking them. It has to stop but i dont know how!! I may lose my job anyday now as a result of this compulsion!

On a happier note my parents are coming to see me this weekend and taking me to IKEA so that i can finish doing my new place up, it will be lovely to see them both as its been a while. I am sure they will be impressed with the new pad, its on a tree lined street so that will get my mum's vote straight away, just have to make sure there are no filthy gay things lying round. My parents know that i garden in the uphill sense but there is no need for them to see "rugby wankers 4" on their first visit!

Finally Happy 30th Birthday to my beautiful Emma

xx

Apologies for a pretty much blogless week but since i have been sorting my flat out and assembling furniture i did not feel i had much to say - how sad is that?

However, i am now the proud owner of a sofa and a bed!! It may not seem a big deal but to me its fab, it's like i am growing up - finally. The new place is coming along nicely and as soon as the folks have been round to inspect and spoil me at IKEA it will be time to throw the doors open to the public. It's been a great week of not too much drinking, lots of good sleep and chilling out, am loving the weather and my new hood - all is splendid!

Oh Amy, Amy, Amy!! Well i dont wanna say i told you so Miss Winehouse but i did! remembed when i was holding your hair back in the bogs of the Hawley Arms in Camden (and that was some achievement! her hair is heavier than me!), she needed to slow it down on the drinking front and i should know! It got to a point very recently where i realised that my drinking was getting way out of hand, so this week i have been pretty much detoxing and it feels great to not wake up with a hangover, to not feel tired all the time, to have energy! I always fooled myself that drinking for me was about being sociable and having a laugh but it turns out i just wanna get mash up so i am TRYING to turn over a new leaf..... will keep you posted on how that goes unless i am too pissed to type.

Kerry Katona has kicked her husband out after he was discovered cheating on her and hiring blokes to rob her house (ALLEGEDLY!!!!), I have never been a huge fan of the katona mainly due to the fact that to be a fan of someone that someone usually has to have talent and with her its like looking for talent in a talentless asbo chav ridden iceland stack but she has been through a rough time so for one time only i saw ahhh to Kerry.

Next week our gracious leader Madonna turns 49, I am getting rather excited about her new album that she has been working on with Timbaland and Justin Timberlake, apparently it is going to be rather good and there are rumours of a tour next year so i shall start saving now! I just really hope she manages to pull off the R & B thang! Its never been that hard to be a Madonna fan - she generally doesn't fuck up so fingers crossed for gangsta bitch in da house!

I have never been one for football! After many embarassments at school, the proud moment at parents evening where my games teacher told my mum and dad

"well phillip gets changed for games and thats really where the effort stops"

It just aint my thing - mainly because i associate it with macho shitheads, screaming abuse and getting drunk and violent and thinking that all that is perfectly excusable in the name of sport, Well the new football season starts tomorrow and the football association has stated that homophobic abuse is against the rules in every premier league and football league club, well football association i say "you go girl!", doubt i could get away with that at Arsenal but i would have a damn good crack at it!

I have been taking the piss out of the gay club "Fuel" in Sheffield for a long time. The bad clothes, the orange skin and of course the Mullets. It is with great sadness that i hear that Fuel is having to move from its base due to the renovations in Sheffield City Centre and is having to move to somewhere called Plug? On their website they say "Plug (opposite the kebab shop), well thats crystal clear. I can just imagine all those fashion car crashes (and i mean that, its like a car has crashed into matalan, lidl and netto) wandering around like tantastic riddled mullet victims crying out for a HI-NRG remix of "put your records on".

THE IMAGINARY MEN OF PIPPY'S BOUDOIR

This little darling was on TV playing a repressed and hideously violent homo the other week in channel 4's "Clapham Junction", I have fancied him for years, he aint afraid to play gay or to lose his clothes in the name of art and that accent of his makes me melt, love a bit of northern in me! It's Paul Nicholls!




Looks like its going to be another hot weekend so slap that cream on and loosen your clothing!

xx

Whilst i was out on saturday night a "gentleman" asked me if i was gay, i had nothing to hide so i proudly propclaimed "yes i am" he then went on to ask "why i talked like that?", i must admit i have a camp tone to my voice but i quite like it, after all it pays to advertise that you lick the other side of the stamp!

I have no idea why SOME gay men are camp and others not, why SOME men mince when others have a swagger - i dont tend to think about it and dont usually enter into discussion about it mainly due to the fact that if we start talking about why SOME gay men are like that, some may go on to think about how we can change gay men to not be like that.

I can remember just after i came out to my mother, she pulled me to one side and said that i should try not to draw attention to my sexuality by talking or walking camp, she even went as far to say that i was starting to sound like Julian Clary (how fab is that!! i was only 16)

I kept my sexuality hidden throughout my childhood and most of my teen years. I was withdrawn, isolated and painfully shy so when i finally got the guts to come out you will have to pardon me for wanting to be that little bit more out. I looked up to gay men on TV like Larry Grayson, John Inman, Julian Clary - i wanted to be like them, i wanted to out and outrageous and i aint ever gonna apologise to no one for it.

So in answer to the question "why do i talk like that?" because i fuckin do, always have done and always will do, do i want to stop being camp? nope, why the hell should i? you should never not like who you are. It takes allsorts to make up this world, its guys like me that sprinkle it with glitter and make it that little more colourful - and that should never be seen as a bad thing

xx

Well folks i have moved!! Au Revior to south london and bonjour to De Beauvoir Town!! I was all set to be sensible on friday by not going out but that good old quick drink after work turned into a night of complete and utter fabulous stupidity! I overslept on saturday and felt like a skip full of shit but i had removal men coming so got my ass into gear and started the process. The move went swimmingly, Pete helped out and i am forever grateful for that. All in all it took about 2 hours. My new pad is delicious and although i am slightly furnitureless i just love it. Apparently Pete Doherty played a gig at my new local on friday night. The joys of north london are neverending.

After the move on saturday i popped back over the river to listen to the menthol cool stylings of the sniffle brothers aka my mates chris and james and several other acts at the Walrus pub in Waterloo. I was joined by Tony, Anna and Camilla and a fun night was had by all. I must have been slightly tired from my move as i fell asleep on the night bus and woke up in Tottenham - boo!!!

Yesterday was such a beautiful day, i just couldn't face unpacking so i briefly assembled furniture and then hopped into town via Angel for a lil bit of shopping before meeting up with Pete for a drink at the gay bars near me. All fun but today i am feeling like death - so so so tired, me thinks this week shall be one of detox and chilling.

It was Brighton Pride this weekend, I usually go and get totally mash up but was quite glad to be moving house and missing it, It's all fun but i always end up staying way longer than i should and by the tuesday i am rocking backwards and forwards whilst dribbling into a beaker - not exactly bringing sexy back is it?

xx

No Regrets!

Last night i decided i was tired of looking at my bare lifeless room for another night so i took myself off to the cinema to see "La Vie En Rose", the film is the life story of the amazing french singer, diva and icon Edith Piaf. I have been aware of Piaf's work for a number of years - my dear and delightfully eccentric friend Jil bought me "The Best Of Edith Piaf" cd when i was going through a particularly dramatic time in my life. Her heartfelt vocals and dramatic delivery provided me with a great deal of comfort and hope so i could not resist seeing the film, plus it had been recommended by several of my man loving male friends.

Her life was one of great tragedy that melted out through her voice. The film covers this in great detail, flitting between her childhood, her time in the spotlight through to her tragic and isolated death. Piaf is portayed by Marion Cotillard in one of the most astounding pieces of acting i have seen in a long time. The film has been at the cinemas for a while now so please catch it if you can.



I am getting rather moist after reading the reviews of the 1st of the Prince concerts at the o2 arena. I am lucky enough to be going to see him twice, once later this month and again on his last night! Apparently he is changing the set every night but it promises to be a hit filled night as he said on his 1st night - "I've had more hits than Madonna's got kids" - not exactly a huge brag princey boy - she only has 3.





I apologise for the slight delay in blogging but since i have spent my week packing boxes and throwing out half of my life i do not have a huge amount to report. It did feel strange getting the train to work today from Denmark Hill for the last time, stood on the balcony this morning making the most of the wonderful view of the London skyline. Tomorrow is moving day and although it is a rather arduous task (especially on one of the hottest days of the year) but hopefully my organisational skills this week mean that it should not take long. Sunday is dedicated to unpacking, i know that once that last box is dumped on the floor me and pete will be going for a nice cool pint of lager in my local.

So here it is my last post as a South London boy, Next week it will all be about the north - it feels like i am coming home in a way, when i first moved to London i lived in highbury and i am moving not too far away from there now so its a welcome home to pippy but whilst i am still down south i may as well find a man to go down south on -

THE IMAGINARY MEN OF PIPPY'S BOUDOIR!!

A few weeks ago i went to see Justin Timberlake, his support act was that lucky bitch who has a tendency to piss herself, yes you guessed it - Fergie! Why is she a lucky bitch if she pisses herself i hear you cry? well because when she gets home and (hopefully) throws out her underwear and has a shower she can curl up next to her gorgeous fiance, the "actor" (he aint that good) Josh Duhamel. Welcome to the boudoir Joshy!! Must make a difference to not have to boink on plastic sheets!






Have a beautiful sun soaked weekend people

xx