What is it with me and straight men?

This weekend was mainly taken up with Sally and Darren's wedding in a small village called Grayshott on the Hampshire/Surrey border. The ceremony took place in Darrens mother's house - It was so beautiful! A pretty big house in gorgeous grounds! We arrived just in time for pre ceremony champagne whioch was much needed - it was such a gorgeous day and I was spitting feathers! The ceremony was short and sweet and Sally looked beautiful. After the ceremony there had been quite a lot of time allocated for drinking Pimm's - I had only had a croissant for breakfast so was getting drunk pretty quickly but thankfully at 5pm the meal was served - very tasty fish and chips followed by speeches and toast's.

That's when it really started to go downhill, I was sat next to a very drunk older woman who was slurring already, I like to think I was quite on form and managed to string a few good sentences together, however, then the music started and the rest is a bit of a blur. I seem to see it as some kind of sport at weddings to flirt outrageously with any straight man that dares to cross my path! Cut to me giving one of them salsa lesons on the dancefloor with a little bit too much physical contact. Did I stop there? Oh god no, why stop when the bride's mother was heading to the dancefloor, did we partake in a little waltz? No!! I was bumping and grinding the bride's mother within in an inch of her life. I think it was around this point that Oliver fell out of the marquee - nice.

I don't remember getting back to the hotel but I do remember waking up with a furry tongue and an insatiable desire for a sausage bap! We were supposed to be heading back to the house the next day for a barbecue but having a vague recollection of what we did we felt it best to just get back on the train to London. I spent the rest of the day eating comfort food and watching "Will and Grace"

This week is looking a bit dull to be honest but I am trying to be a good boy and not spend too much money, I am off to Bristol on Wednesday night for a 2 day conference with the gay mafia which should be quite good as I get to hook up with people I have not seen for a while. It cvan be quite exhausting going to these things though - they may be professional gays but that does not stop the judging - I shall literally be floating on a sea of checked shirts so the wardrobe needs to be planned quite religiously and then there is always the big night out between day 1 and day 2 where I shall see my colleagues making complete fools of themselves, only problem is I am usually the worst of the lot. Oh the shame!

xx