Noisy Neighbours!

I live on the border of Dalston/Islington in North London in a lovely house, I have the ground floor and there is a lesbian on the 1st floor. Downstairs the cheeky money grabbing landlord has converted the cellar into another flat, there are mere wooden floorboards seperating me from my cellar neighbours, a straight italian couple who are quite possibly the noisiest people on the planet - they don't play loud music, they dont have the TV on at top volume, it's their stupid voices that are driving me slowly insane. the woman is not too bad but her boyfriend is soon going to be featured on the end of my meat cleaver!

He has the most exaggerated accent I have ever heard, If he is not putting on a stupid voice, he is singing or shouting - if it carries on like this for much longer I am going to start walking round loudly in a pair of high heels. He also has the kind of ginger hair that makes me feel nauseous and rides about on a scooter (how annoyingly italian!) - Please god let them move out soon, I shall be waving from the door screaming "Ciao" at the top of my voice - it really is like living above a 24 hour pizza advert.

I see that Marilyn Monroe is as popular as ever - a New York business man has just paid $1.5 million for a black and white, silent sex tape of the actress. The film shows Marilyn orally pleasuring a man for 15 minutes - god that girl was gifted, 15 minutes! I hoped she stopped for a breather and a glass of ribena.

Great news that James Blunt has broken his finger and can't play the piano!! He did a stage dive at one of his shows in America, I wonder which song he was stage diving too? Neither of his albums feature anything worthy of a stage dive, a cliff dive yes but not a stage dive.

xx