My head is spinning right round, round baby right round like a record baby right round round round!

What do you do if you have been in the same career for 14 years and feel like you don't want to do it anymore? This is not a question that i have the answer to and i dont think the solution is immediately forthcoming. I hate to say this but i am monumentily confused - should i have gone to university instead of getting all that voluntary work experience?, will i be laughed out of an interview for spending so much time working with the gays?

I sat at home last night in a slight, dithering panic - thinking that i was qualified for nothing that all the work i had done over the last few years and the projects i had been a part of would not be recognised in mainstream work. Thankfully that didn't last long - i do have skills, i can write well-ish, i am a good trainer, i have loads of experience working with groups and individuals, have organised conferences and seminars galore but i am still sat here simply thinking - what am i going to do? what will fulfill me? what will challenge me? I am very lucky in that i am not unemployed that there is no rush and at the moment work is exciting and the project i am developing will really make a difference - the main reason i got into this line of work.

I have to say this is such a bizarre time at the moment on loads of levels, the only area of my life that seems to be settled and shiny is my new home which at the moment is the love of my life, my friends as always are shining stars that brighen up my days, my lovelife is confusing and filling my head and heart with more questions than answers and that leaves my career - it's all a queer turn of events, my career has always been the rock in my life, i have always shown ambition and that is proven by the work i have done but where i go when i have achieved what i set out to do is the question that i am desperate for some clarity on.

This is a rant i should probably be having in my head but it helps to get it out in the open and see it in front of me. Cant believe i said yesterday that mormal service would be resumed on this blog shortly, not sure that is going to happen for a while!

More random shirt lifter mumblings to come

xx