Yay i am back from the sunny isle of Tenerife! Have had such an amazing break. My head and heart were pretty battered before i went and i was pretty blue but now after a few days of rest and relaxation by the pool, i have had loads of time to think and sort stuff out in my head and have come back feeling refreshed and ready to celebrate my birthday this weekend! Thanks to Oliver for sorting the holiday and being such fab company and for ordering a penis colada!

The weather in Tenerife was great and i have come back with a rather fabulous tan, the men were few and far between due to us going out of season but that did not stop me going to a bar and getting on stage with a male stripper, ripping his trousers off and then being told off by him for grabbing the family jewels - well he was waving it in my face, whats a boy supposed to do?? The same evening i got a lap dance from a black female stripper who was wearing nothing but a pearl thong - they may as well have thrown a football at me, i had no idea what to do!

Back to reality now though and my birthday!! so exciting cos loads of people are coming and Shinky Shonky at the Oak bar is the place where it will all be happening. Quite a few of the girls are coming down from Sheffield for the weekend so that will be fab. The great thing about this weekend is that i haven't actually been thinking about it that much so i am just going to roll with my homo's and see what happens.

It appears that not much has been happening in celeb world since i last graced these shores, Kerry Katona is still alive though - boo! My hatred for her grows by the day, a mate asked me the other day how i can slag off Kerry Katona for doing drugs whilst saying that Amy Winehouse is god's gift! Oh where do i start. Amy Winehouse has talent, oodles of it, Kerry Katona has zero talent ( well i bet she is handy with a mirror and a rolled up iceland voucher), Amy Winehouse comes from that classic breed of rock stars - doing everything to excess because they can, at least when Amy is off her face she is wearing a fab dress or skinny jeans and an 8ft beehive in front of the paparazzi, Kerry gets off her face in front of "This Morning" wearing a scrunchie and a velour tracksuit. There is no comparison and i just wish Katona would go away and never rape my eyes or ears again.

A certain national gay rights lobbying group have just unveiled their ground breaking new poster/media campaign which simply says "Some people are gay, get over it!" - i hate to bad mouth my own kind but this does seem like a slightly pointless campaign. Is there anyone who is not aware that homosexuals are walking the streets of the UK, they may be your neighbours, teachers or interior designers. I dread to think how much money has been spent pointing out the obvious, health promotion campaigns often point out the obvious as a clear and direct way of getting a message across but i fear that this message is going to fall on the ears of many saying "and?"


I always seem to attract the same kind of guy, well online i do anyway, recently i got a message on the guardian soulmates website from a guy who openly describes himself as a bit of a porker, wants to be my "daddy" and calls himself Mr Foodie - its times like these i wonder if i am best off looking for love in a cake shop. Maybe a knight in shining armour will turn up tomorrow night and prove to me that there are still decent men out there - i remain veiled and optimistic

xx