When did we stop caring?

The last few weeks have given me a lot of food for thought, you may remember me leaping onto my soapbox over the cuts to gay men's HIV prevention work in London. There is no news to report on this at the moment but as soon as the consultations complete i shall be keeping all posted.

On friday the Health Protection Agency released their annual figures of HIV and STI's diagnoses for the UK and the news was not good. The latest figures show that the number of gay and bisexual men diagnosed in the UK is at it's highest rate since the start of the epidemic. 2700 gay and bisexual were diagnosed with HIV in the UK last year, the highest number ever. Across the UK it is estimated that 1 in 20 gay and bisexual men are living with HIV, figures suggest that numbers in London could be as high as 1 in 10.

People don't seem to give a shit anymore. If an epidemic of this scale hit the UK's white heterosexual population, the Government would have to do something, hardhitting national campaigns would be all over the media, clinics would be recruiting more staff and ensuring that treatments and support were readily available.

I would also like to think that the public would respond by ensuring that their needs were met through campaigning and making people listen. When AIDS first reared it's ugly head in the early 80's, a small group of campaigners were very vocal in ensuring that services were provided to those that needed it most. Now 25 years on more gay men are getting HIV than ever before.

Why aren't gay men angry anymore? Why aren't we asking for what we need? Why are we (literally) laying flat on our backs taking it? Being fucked up the arse by a virus? Being fucked up the arse by a sociaety that has allowed us to slip away? Being fucked up the arse by a government that can't see what our basic needs are. It may sound like i am flinging the blame around whilst not looking at myself and my fellow members of the "gay community".

I came out in 1993, i joined a gay youth group and watched HIV+ friends becoming seriously ill, losing their sight and their ability to walk amongst many other horrendous symptoms, Around that time i was also training as a sexual health youth line volunteer so by the time i came out to my parents they were scared that i was "going to catch AIDS and die", i found myself educating them because i had educated myself.

As i gained confidence i became heavily involved in gay politics in a time where the Government was making vital decisions about young gay men's lives such as the equalisation of the age of consent and the removal of section 28. I was angry that people i had never met or spoken to were making decisions that could affect the rest of my life, i stood on Sheffield town hall steps at a "Ban Section 28" rally screaming into a megaphone about my hideous experiences of bullying at school to try and let people know that we could change the way young people learnt about sexuality.

Where is that passion in young gay men today? Yes many of the laws that discriminated against us have gone but we now seem to be reverting back to the 70's and early 80's where gay men led hedonistic lifestyles where condoms were unthought of. The popularity of sex bars, clubs and saunas in London is all too evident in the weekly gay press. The wide availability and popularity of bareback porn is astounding. HIV treatment is not a cure and it has never been easy to take. The way gay men talk about treatments today, its as if they are happy pills of many colours, gay men have stopped questioning the consequences of becoing HIV+ and what it entails

The writer Larry Kramer said in a speech 3 years ago

"One of these days the miraculous drugs we have to keep us alive are going to stop working. Our systems cannot process these extreme chemotherapies indefinitely. That is what we are on. We are on daily chemotherap. No one wants to call it that. We call it the cocktail. We are on chemotherapy! Chemotherapy either kills the disease or kills us! what are we going to do when they don't work any longer?"

When are gay men going to take responsibiity for their health and the health of the person they are sleeping with? Is there any point in trying to get gay men excited about activism again when it is enough of a struggle to get gay men to value themselves. We can talk about the effects of homophobia on a gay man's ability to look after himself but when are we going to realise that the only thing stopping gay men from taking care of each other is each other.

I don't have the answer or a miracle solution, i just wish that we could have enough respect for the pastand the battles we have fought to be aware of the immense challenges to our future. The quesion i want the answer to is when are we going to wake up to ourselves, look at our lives and realise that they matter not just to us but to the people around us.

Just a thought

xx