did someone say something about fierce???? Oooh girl this mamma is ferocious!

Back in Business!

Well my dearies! It has been too long and there has been too much going on! It is rather hard to know where to start, hope you all had a rather lovely Easter, mine was suitably crazy and drink filled, shocking i know!!

Part of the weekend included a Good Friday trip to Popstarz at it's new venue - Sin on Charing Cross Road, The Gossip were playing so i kinda expected that it would be busy but nothing prepared me for the sheer ridiculousness of the venue. Call me old fashioned but the old venue of the Scala club in Kings Cross was perfect for popstarz, it never felt too busy, you could move around quite easily and rarely had to queue for anything apart from the cloakroom! On Good Friday we had to queue for the cloakroom, queue to get into the different rooms, queue to get on the dancefloor etc etc, It was quite simply one of the most hateful experiences i have had in a long time. I will give it another chance but that night really took the piss.

I had a few days off work since then on annual leave and thought i would just chill out and catch up on a bit of reading, my friend Oliver had let me borrow a couple of books, one of which was a book by Dan Brown called "Digital Fortress" - I had already read the Da Vinci Code and Deception Point and thought they were ok, this book however, was a steaming cow pat pile of shit of a book! His writing style is so annoying - basically it goes - one paragraph describing the scene and the next describing what's going on, i advice you to skip every other paragraph in this case. The book goes on and on about this rather impressive sounding computer that can translate any code in any email quick as a flash but there is one code it can't break and that basically sets up the rest of the book.

As i reached the climax of the story, I found myself repeatedly saying at the top of my voice whilst on my own "OH COME ON!!!!" - If you are intending to read this book you shoud be warned I am about to spoil the story (I actually believe Dan Brown spoiled the story by writing it) - basically the code that is needed throughout the book is believed to be engraved on a ring that the code designer has passed to some one in Spain shortly before dying, the whole story is spent following this guy's mission to locate the ring and get the code back to the bigwigs in America, this goes on and on like a Heather Mills outside court speech and is just as mental. It turns out after all that chasing and bullet dodging that the code they are all looking for is 3, the number of fingers on the code designers jeremy beadle like hand, we thought he was giving the ring away with the code on it but in fact he was just holding up his manky 3 fingers - what a load of twaddle! Now normally in the back of books there is a little piece about the author - eg - what he does, if he is married and where he lives, Mr Brown seems to have decided this is not important, a shame really as I would like to go and ask him for the time it took me to read this book back, I would also like to pick his computer up and slam it down on his fingers so his hand resembles the hand of the character in his book and hopefully he would not be able to write another book like this ever again.

Also last week I bought Heat magazine - when will I ever learn?? I had to laugh though, they had some real exclusives in their "week in pictures" section, I do hope you are holding onto your seats!

1. A picture of Gwyneth Paltrow walking with a shorter female friend with the headline "Gwyneth Paltrow is tall, is'nt she?"

2. A picture of the actress Jessica Alba going to get her nails done in LA surrounded by paparazzi. Shocking an attractive actress getting her photo taken!!

3. A picture of David Beckham with his hand over his groin on a football pitch as some one is taking a free kick!! - don't footballers all over the world do that?

4. Abby Clancy (WAG) running down the street on a cold day in a t shirt with her nipples visible in her top, shock horror, nipples go hard when it's cold!!!

5. Sadie Frost has worn the same bikini twice in the last 3 years!!! - may she hang her head in shame!

6. Britney Spears' sister Jamie Lynn is blooming! yes it's the shocking story that 6 months pregnant Jamie Lynn is bigger than she was 6 months ago

7. Heat Magazine has also noticed that Nicole Ritchie is also looking much healthier than she used to after recently giving birth, yes she has more meat on her bones than this time last year, ya know when she was not pregnant

and I ask myself why do they limit the booker prize to books when this literary genius is out there talking about the issues that really matter!!

Whilst I am getting all wordy wordy on your ass, I thought I would lead into the next part of the blog by saying

Dont judge a book (or album in this case) by it's cover.

http://gumclinic.blogspot.com/2008/03/hard-skin.html

As avid readers of this blog will know I do worship at the Church of Madonna, A few entries ago i uploaded the cover art for the new Madonna album "Hard Candy" labelling it as "fierce", this of course was my personal opinion and although I am sure the cover has been airbrushed to buggery - I am still very excited about the contents of this album, yes I am talking about the music, I do get sick of rowing with people who say that Madonna just finds a style of music and steals it for herself. After 26 years in the business no one can deny that Madonna has a keen ear for all that will be cool whether it is underground french dance music, multi ethnic gypsy punk or new york dance house voguing. Her next album seems to be highly influenced by Hip Hop, Several other female artists have already been collaborating with the artists that Madonna is working with, Nelly Furtado is the main girl that springs to mind, working with Mr Timberlake and Mr Timbaland to great success. I do wonder how much influence Ms. Furtado had over the production, Madonna has written and co produced all the tracks on the new album so lets just wait and see what she comes up with before drop kicking her ass at the first beat.

As for complaints about Madonna skipping back in time, If I had been around and on top of my game for 26 years, I would be more than happy to reflect back on where I had started from and where I had got to. We should all wait and be excited about the artistic direction of her video releases from this album and the upcoming tour - I will need to get my eyes tested as I am sure it will be like nothing we have seen before.

Discuss

Here are some more fine fine fine pics of her greatness






Finally it's a long overdue hottie moment, Lazing around this last week I have still not been able to enjoy the delights of daytime TV but now I wish I had, This is one of the male nurses from daytime soap "Doctors" - if he was a nurse in real life I would so be jamming a biro in my eye right now!!



xx

Oh it's all very sad in the world of film, I was shocked to hear of the death of film director Anthony Minghella, Minghella directed films including The English Patient, Truly, Madly Deeply, The Talented Mr Ripley and Cold Mountain. Film director and production partner, Sydney Pollack paid such a beautiful tribute to him Minghella yesterday

Anthony was a realistic romanticist. A kind of poet, disciplined by reality, an academic by training, a musician by nature, a compulsive reader by habit, and to most observers, a sunny soul who exuded a gentleness that should never have been mistaken for lack of tenacity and resolve.
The cliche that you don't know anyone well until you've lived through wars with them, is an absolute truth. Sometimes making films is a form of war. Having weathered several with Anthony, I will tell you that his dignity never softened, his artistry never suffered, and his mind remained as sharp and clear in wartime as it was in quietude



Also news broke this week that the truly exceptional Dame Maggie Smith is battling Breast Cancer, The 2 time oscar winning actress insisted that she complete the latest Harry Potter film despite going through radiation therapy. I was lucky enough to see Maggie Smith in a 2 hander play with Dame Judi Dench several years ago and her presence on stage was nothing short of electrifying.



Great news that one of my personal heart throbs has got a lead role in the new series of Spooks! His name is Richard Armitage and he is probably better known as either Guy of Gisborne in the BBC Robin Hood series or the guy that the Vicar of Dibley married in the last episode, he is tall, dark, handsome and has the sexiest voice i have heard in a long time.



I see that filming on Kerry "please put me on the front of OK! magazine, I will make stuff up to make it sound like i have a life, please don't make me cut myself!!!" Katona's reality show has been halted as she has been admitted into the Priory rehab clinic again, apparently she is being treated for depression brought on by her bi-polar disorder. "Get well soon Kezza, love ya babes!!!" - not my words, hers!




Anyway my loves! Have a wonderful easter break and I shall be back when I am back!!

kisses xx

Dr. Laura Schlessinger is a radio personality who dispenses advice to people who call in to her radio show. Recently, she said that, as an observant Orthodox Jew, homosexuality is an abomination according to Leviticus 18:22 and cannot be condoned under any circumstance. The following is an open letter to Dr. Laura penned by a east coast resident, which was posted on the Internet. It's funny, as well as informative:

Dear Dr. Laura:

Thank you for doing so much to educate people regarding God's Law. I have learned a great deal from your show, and try to share that knowledge with as many people as I can. When someone tries to defend the homosexual lifestyle, for example, I simply remind them that Leviticus 18:22 clearly states it to be an abomination. End of debate. I do need some advice from you, however, regarding some of the other specific laws and how to follow them:

When I burn a bull on the altar as a sacrifice, I know it creates a pleasing odor for the Lord - Lev.1:9. The problem is my neighbors. They claim the odor is not pleasing to them. Should I smite them?

I would like to sell my daughter into slavery, as sanctioned in Exodus 21:7. In this day and age, what do you think would be a fair price for her?

I know that I am allowed no contact with a woman while she is in her period of menstrual uncleanliness - Lev.15:19- 24. The problem is, how do I tell? I have tried asking, but most women take offense.

Lev. 25:44 states that I may indeed possess slaves, both male and female, provided they are purchased from neighboring nations. A friend of mine claims that this applies to Mexicans, but not Canadians. Can you clarify? Why can't I own Canadians?

I have a neighbor who insists on working on the Sabbath. Exodus 35:2 clearly states he should be put to death. Am I morally obligated to kill him myself?

A friend of mine feels that even though eating shellfish is an abomination - Lev. 11:10, it is a lesser abomination than homosexuality. I don't agree. Can you settle this?

Lev. 21:20 states that I may not approach the altar of God if I have a defect in my sight. I have to admit that I wear reading glasses. Does my vision have to be 20/20, or is there some wiggle room here?

Most of my male friends get their hair trimmed, including the hair around their temples, even though this is expressly forbidden by Lev. 19:27. How should they die?

I know from Lev. 11:6-8 that touching the skin of a dead pig makes me unclean, but may I still play football if I wear gloves?

My uncle has a farm. He violates Lev. 19:19 by planting two different crops in the same field, as does his wife by wearing garments made of two different kinds of thread (cotton/polyester blend). He also tends to curse and blaspheme a lot. Is it really necessary that we go to all the trouble of getting the whole town together to stone them? - Lev.24:10-16. Couldn't we just burn them to death at a private family affair like we do with people who sleep with their in-laws? (Lev. 20:14)

I know you have studied these things extensively, so I am confident you can help. Thank you again for reminding us that God's word is eternal and unchanging.

Your devoted fan,
Jim

At long last I have heard the new Madonna single - "4 minutes to save the world" and on first listen I have to admit I was slightly hesitant but after listening to it relentlessly I am now officially loving it!! It is being played on radio constantly, I am so dying to hear it in a club now!! I shall be dropping some seriously hot (deluded) moves.

The cover art for her new album has also just come out and yet again, girl looks fierce!!




At the weekend i saw her acceptance speech for her induction to the US Rock and Roll hall of Fame and I have to say I think it's the best speech i have ever seen her do, very very funny! My favourite line comes from when she is talking about meeting A & R Man Michael Rosenblatt in a club in New York

"I jammed my demo tape into his hand, we dropped a tab of ecstasy and danced the night away"

That's my girl!!

Why is Heather Mills such an annoying c*nt? The girl gets £24.3 million in her divorce settlement and still finds stuff to bang on about, she really is all shades of crazy - i just want to take her leg off and beat her with it - i don't care what they say! she aint nothing but a gold digger cos she aint messing with no broke singer!! Now she is worried that her daughter won't have enough cash and will have to fly B-class - what the fuck is B class?? This woman has her own secret language, i know she is from Geordie land but this is taking the piss.



How glad am I that easter is around the corner?? not because i am particularly religious or even that much of a fan of chocolate but mainly because I get to have a long weekend and have lots of fun with my friends. I got my girl Miss Dan Jackson (if ya nasty) coming to stay with me and we are going to just go for it. Party, Party, Party!!!

Lets just hope the week goes quickly

xx

Go Ellen

I have always been a bit annoyed that Ellen Degeneres hardly ever refers to being gay on hr show but she has more than made up for it today. Yesterday i mentioned Oklahoma State Politician Sally Kern and her rather misguided speech about the homosexuals. My favourite quote being

"studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades"

On her talk show yesterday Ellen tried to call Miss Kern to discuss a few things -

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HBzTWcTwJJM

If you dont have sound on your computer then basically Ellen cant leave a message on her voicemail as her box is full!! So she leaves an on air message

"Hi, Sally, this is Ellen. The gay one. And I would like to leave a message. I just want to talk to you based on some things you said. I’d like to clear some things up for you. So give me a call– I’m usually here, but later on I’ll be at the Dinah Shore Golf Tournament, of course. That’s if it doesn’t conflict with the women’s basketball games I go to. Oh, Sally, Sally Sally.”

watch the clip anyway, Ellen's facial expressions are great

ps - rumours have it that Sally Kern's son is gay!!! the poor guy - i think Ellen should adopt him

gay pride!!

xx

I'm not religious!

I was not raised religious, My parents both colme from quite religious families and they hated the way they were made to go to church when they were young, when my brother and i were born they made the decision that they would not force us into any religion but just let us grow up and make our own choices.

Growing up gay I soon realised that most religions had something to say on homosexuality and the majority of it was negative. This led to me being very anti-religion for a very long time. All I seemed to see on TV and in the media was the religious implications of war, violence, ignorance and terrorism.

At the moment at work i am organising an event that is going to focus on gay men and their religion, this has led to me speaking to various representatives from religious/faith groups. This has made me realise that i do not know dick about religion. You hear on the news all the time about the ridiculous statements from the Vatican that have no bearing or relevance to the way human beings run their lives and i then take that on by thinking that all catholics are stupid but in fact i need to open my eyes and realise that with any religion, you take what you want from it and leave the crazy alone.

I am sure this event will change my perspective a great deal by looking into ways that professional gay men like my dear self can work with faith leaders to ensure they are taking issues of sexuality on board.

No matter what happens though, I can safely say that i have given up hope on the pope

xx

The end of an era!

Over 18 months ago i mentioned on this blog that there were plans to demolish the Astoria club in the West End, Home of G-A-Y to make room for redevelopment and a crossrail link. Despite over 38,000 people signing a petition, the proposed demolition is now definitely going ahead and G-A-Y is moving, the question on my mind is where? There have been rumours circulating the gay mafia that Heaven and G-A-Y are going to merge into one big superclub - we will just have to wait and see but i do have to say that despite slagging the place off, I will be sad to see it go. The demolition will also wave goodbye to the much smaller club Ghetto! I loved this club but always wanted it to be bigger so hopefully they will find a more roomy new home.

It has hit the news this morning that the seventh and final Harry Potter film will be split into 2 parts with the 1st installment due for release in November 2010 and the last half hitting screens the following May. I am rather pleased about this, the final book is truly fantastic and Potter fans in the past have complained about the books being trimmed down on cinema release. I believe the next film is due out towards the end of this year.

More great news on the "Sex and the City" front - the movie is being released in the UK 2 days before it's American release!!! Usually America gets films over a month before we do so this is very exciting - any excuse for more pics from the film!!







I am a big crime fan!! that doesn't mean that i clap whilst watching old ladies being pummeled in the street but i love crime shows and books, One of my all time faves has to be Prime Suspect. I found the first book in the series collecting dust on my bookcase yesterday and thought i would give it a whirl, well it's a great little page turner, i am thinking of treating myself to the box set on payday - god bless Helen Mirren!! i just love the way she runs her fingers through her hair, whilst smoking, drinking a large G and T and flicking through a murder file - she does it so well!!!



Couldn't not mention this today!! It's the cover for Madonna's new single!!




xx

Now anyone who knows me even slightly will know that i am obsessed with Oprah!! I love the woman, she is magnificent and i live for the day that i get a special hug from Ms Winfrey! Another reason that i tune into her show is her featured interior designer, a rather beautiful gay man called Nate Berkus - he is simply stunning, i thought i would share him with you today you lucky fucks




and in stupid c*nt news.....

Oklahoma State Politician Sally Kern delivered a speech littered with hate recently stating that the homosexual agenda is destroying the nation. According to God's word, that is not the right kind of lifestyle (being gay is not a lifestyle, idiot!) - it has deadly consequences for those people involved in it (well aren't you a chirpy little cow)

Although she claims she is "not gay-bashing," Kern continues by saying gays "have more suicides ... there's more illness, their life spans are shorter ... studies show that no society that has totally embraced homosexuality has lasted more than, you know, a few decades (really specific information there, thanks for that!)

A staunch Christian, Kern says in the speech that "Not everybody's lifestyle is equal, just like not all religions are equal" and believes gays are an even bigger threat than "terrorism or Islam, which I think is a big threat, How can gays be a bigger threat than Terrorists? We aint bombing shit honey - we like things tidy!! Apparently Kern got a standing ovation after this rather stinky piece of verbal diaorrhoea. God bless America?

xx

Forget jesus! worship madonna!!!

Another blog delay!! tut tut!

Madonna was finally inducted into the US Rock and Roll Hall of Fame last night and yet again looked all shades of fierce. I have yet to see footage from the event but i am sure she was fabulous, Mr Timberlake introduced her and even managed to slip in a dig at his ex Britney Spears saying that he had been out with a few "Madonna wannabes"! - miaow!!



I can't say I am a huge fan of H from the rather awful group STEPS but i heard this morning that he is making a documentary about the gays and did an interview with Stephen Green, the director of the campaign group "Christian Voice" - Mr Green is clearly a wanker as he compared H's gay lifestyle as "Vile" and compared all gays to the serial killer Jeffrey Dahmer. Just to make it clear H is gay and was one member of the pop group STEPS who had a string of hits from 1997 to 2001. Jeffrey Dahmer was an american serial killer who murdered 17 men and boys between 1978 and 1991, his murders were particularly gruesome and included rape, cannibalism and necrophilia. It's like reading the same sentence twice isn't it, talk about spot the difference.

I am kinda laying low this month, financially it's a must but also my body is starting to ache from all the fun and the drinking and it's time to just lock myself away and start looking after myself - i have not forgotten what my emotional stylist told me. I will restrain myself until Easter, Dan is coming to London and that may well be crazy but until then i am going to be deliciously lazy!

xx

I made it through the wilderness somehow i made it through!

Yes after a week of adventures and hard work up north, I am back where i belong in the big smoke. I had a lovely weekend with Dan, Danny, Deeds and Kerri in Sheffield, all rather drunken, some might say it was just dumb and dumber (a lil in joke for a certain someone) and then on monday i hotfooted it over to Nottingham for a work conference, I never talk much about my work on this blog but basically the conference involved 370 gay men and was hard work but lots of fun and there were a handful of hotties but alas i was a bit too busy/drunk for any action to occur.

It feels strange that it's almost the weekend, i don't have much planned to be honest as i am trying to not go mad with money this month - will see how long that lasts! I recently invested in some dvd's so that should keep me going - I simply had to buy "La Vie En Rose" as it was one of my favourite films of last year. I also bought a film called "Little Children" starring Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson, I was not sure what to expect but it is a genuinely moving and intriguing film. The plot centres around 2 couples and their troubled marriages, the troubles eventually lead to an extremely passionate affair that rips apart the lives of all included. There is also an intense sub plot focusing on the local witch hunt for a local child molester. This sub plot is the most troubling aspect of the film due to it's sheer intensity. I had to keep switching the film off as it was upsetting me so much. I do have to say that it's a great film that provoked real emotion. I compare it to "American Beauty" mainly due to the rather eerie commentary throughout. I recommend you watch it but be prepared to be quite freaked out.




The third dvd i got was a bargain - it was a box set of the 1st 2 Bourne films starring Matt Damon, i watched the first one and really loved it, such a fast paced film with some great fight scenes and Matt Damon is simply perfect. I am looking for a quiet night his weekend so i can sit back and watch the 2nd one. It does seem rather transparent that out of the 4 films i bought 3 of them had rather hot guys in them but what can i say - i like to look at nice people.





xx