i am usually a chirpy little chicken but i have to say that today has majorly sucked ass and not in a good way, dya ever have those days where you think the world is against you? i just seem to be getting bad news at the moment, it never rains but it pours. i am not a violent person but i would gladly punch someones lights out right now which is pretty harsh.

Therefore the blog thing aint really happening for me today which also means no boudoir, i know, i am sorry, hopefully the weekend ahead will resolve a few of my problems at the moment and on monday i will feel ready to celebrate the beauty of the male form but right now i just want to kick men in their kahoona's.

esca-later

xx punch punch xx

How bored am i of reading all these stupid page filling news reports on how old Madonna looks? Close up paparazzi pictures of her hands seems to be the latest trend. Newsflash she is 50 next year! human beings get older and at least she is doing it semi-gracefully, she could turn into a plastic doll version of herself and i for one can think of nothing worse than Madonna reaching 80 and staggering out of the house with enough plastic on her body that she could probably fetch a good price at a tupperware party. I don't want to turn into that mad Britney Spears fan on youtube but i do have to say just leave her alone and let her do what she is best at (no comments from the peanut gallery please!)

I have sent off my passport for renewal this week and looking at my 10 year old passport picture and my new one was a rather hideous experience! In my last photo i am scarily thin, i have hair and a great big cheesy grin on my face but due to the whole "dont smile" policy my new pic would not look out of place on Crimewatch! I look like a scowling, skinhead bovver boy! If only they knew that this bovver boy dances round his room lip synching to Tina Turner! Maybe, just maybe all scowling skinheads do that! Have we have been misinterpreting them all this time? I shall endeavour to find out - a single to romford please!

I have totally stolen this picture from another blog but i feel the need to share as much as possible! Had he not already been in my boudoir i would totally slot him in their tomorrow but as an early dribbly treat here is Justin Timberlake pleasing and teasing the crowd at his show last night



xx

Where have all the gays gone?

That's the question i would love to ask Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, the Iranian President. He has told an audience at Columbia University in New York that there are no gay people living in his country...

"In Iran we don't have homosexuals like in your country," he said. "In Iran we do not have this phenomenon, I don't know who has told you that we have it."

I am inclined to agree - with the amount of executions of gays and lesbians in Iran over the last few years, it may well get to the poing where there are not that many gays and lesbians LIVING in Iran.

At last Whitney Houston has left the house and it seems she is finally gearing up for a big comeback, she has just signed a massive record deal and has been papped having lunch with her mentor from the 80's - Clive Davis. Please bring it Whitney! Show these PVC wearing R & B wannabe bitches how to hit a note.

I keep finding myself in the easy listening section of HMV, it is very worrying, i have no idea who is in the Top 10 at the moment and have recently found myself listening to The Carpenters (which i am sure the lovely Paul will be very happy about) and Barry Manilow!! I am not sure about Barry - i was watching that episode of "Will and Grace" where Will is queuing for Manilow tickets and seeing Karen Walker singing "Mandy" all got a bit too much for me.

Just when i thought it was safe to buy OK! magazine that stupid, common, faker Kerry Katona is grinning like a chav with a macdonalds voucher on the front cover! She is pregnant again!! she gave birth in february! her mimsy has more action than the log flume at Alton Towers! Lets see how many front covers they can milk out of this!

I just checked Jodie Marsh's blog as she has not updated it for a while what with being a total munter and getting married to the first bloke who could cope with the orange glow from her fugly drag queen face. She has printed the list of thankyou's for her wedding, she blatantly didn't pay for a thing, the list includes

a shop called "Brazen Hussy" they supplied her dress for the legal wedding ceremony and the bridesmaids dresses

an agency called "probiketraining", not sure what they did but of all people i doubt Jodie Marsh would need training on how to be a bike!

all the girls at sextoys.co.uk - its just gets classier

Sugar hut village, big thanks for letting mr and mrs deluded be the first couple to be legally married in a nightclub! yeah jodie i would be happy about that too, no really.

Obviously she has to thank Stringfellows, Tan City and the most romantic day of your life would not be complete without a big thankyou to Chessington World of Adventures and Zoo!! what the hell kind of wedding was it?? A totally fake one that was used to propel her from z list to y list whilst making her look a total bint? correct

xx

Well the weekend is over! Where did it go?

On friday night i saw one of the best gigs i have ever seen! Prince finished his 21 night run at the o2 arena in grand style! I seriously cannot think of a hit that he didn't sing. He played all my favourites, was very chatty with the crowd and looking at to 23,000 all with purple glow sticks was quite a beautiful sight, it truly was a beautiful night. Sadly Amy Winehouse didn't appear with Prince until the aftershow party which me had no tickets for!

On Saturday i was more than glad to discover that my pay had gone in early! I went a little bit crazy in HMV - but i did get some bargains that included the new albums by Robyn, KT Tunstall, Athlete and Hard Fi and the following dvd's - the complete superman collection (a guilty pleasure of mine), Jaws, Working Girl and the 2nd series of the hilarious "early doors".

That evening i tootled on over to Oliver's to meet up with Mel and Sally who were visiting, Had a very entertaining time with karaoke and hilarious stories thrown in followed by a very lazy day yesterday ending with me going to see Tony and Anna's new flat in Shepherds Bush. Managed to miss the last tube though (boo!) so took me forever to get home (bigger boo!)

This week is pretty crazy both workwise and socially plus i need to save a bit of cash for weekends coming up that are going to be silly and no doubt messy.

I am pretty tired today so a better blog will be with you tomorrow

xx

oh my god!!! this may not apply to everyone but i am so excited after seeing this pic!! filming has started on the sex and the city movie!!

Tell me if you can, what makes a man a man

i went on some training yesterday as part of my work, the training's aim was to raise awareness of the issues that young transgender people face. It mainly focused on issue for female to male (ftm) trans guys. It was a fascinating day for me, i had never really thought about the issues before and it really made me think about what it is to be a man.

I rarely look at myself as plainly and simply a man, my sexuality has a huge impact on the way i perceive my self and my maleness. Part of the training yesterday involved doing a quiz that asked pretty stereotypical questions to find out the participants levels of maleness/femaleness and masculinity/femininity. My test results showed that i am definitely a man but i am more feminine than masculine. This was no big surprise to me. As a child i was surrounded by yorkshire men who would never dream of even thinking of themselves in any other way than totally male and totally masculine, the problem was that a lot of the things that made them men appalled me, the way they talked about women, their lack of sensitivity and the rather charming way that they would get drunk and beat the hell out of each other.

I would always sit back and think if that is what a man is then i don't want to be one. There has been much scientific research into why gay men are sometimes more effeminate than straight men, i dont know the answer and i dont care frankly. I am pleased coming out and meeting a more diverse range of people than maybe i would if i was straight has had a massive effect on me but also on the straight guys in my life. The guys that started out not wanting to discuss gay stuff or be around gay bars etc now seem to realise that the gays are human and actually know quite a lot about being men.

I don't want to be tarred with that awful "new man" thing that seemed so popular in the late 90's but i am just saying that there are many ways to be a man and yesterdays training raised my awareness that physical attributes are only a small part of what makes a man. I can remember watching Marc Almond perform at the Royal Albert Hall many years ago and he sang a wonderful song by Charles Aznavour - it just seems to fit quite well in this entry. It's called "What makes a man"

My mum and I we live alone
A great apartment is our home
In Fairhome Towers
I have to keep me company
Two dogs, a cat, a parakeet
Some plants and flowers
I help my mother with the chores
I wash, she dries, I do the floors
We work together
I shop and cook and sow a bit
Though mum does too I must admit
I do it better
At night I work in a strange bar
Impersonating every star
I'm quite deceiving
The customers come in with doubt
And wonder what I'm all about
But leave believing
I do a very special show
Where I am nude from head to toe
After stripteasing
Each night the men look so surprised
I change my sex before their eyes
Tell me if you can
What makes a man a man

At 3 o'clock or so I meet
With friends to have a bite to eat
And conversation
We love to empty out our hearts
With every subject from the arts
To liberation
We love to pull apart someone
And spread some gossip just for fun
Or start a rumour
We let our hair down, so to speak
And mock ourselves with tongue-in-cheek
And inside humour
So many times we have to pay
For having fun and being gay
It's not amusing
There's always those that spoil our games
By finding fault and calling names
Always accusing
They draw attention to themselves
At the expense of someone else
It's so confusing
Yet they make fun of how I talk
And imitate the way I walk
Tell me if you can
What makes a man a man


My masquerade comes to an end
And I go home to bed again
Alone and friendless
I close my eyes, I think of him
I fantasise what might have been
My dreams are endless
We love each other but it seems
The love is only in my dreams
It's so one sided
But in this life I must confess
The search for love and hapiness
Is unrequited
I ask myself what I have got
Of what I am and what I'm not
What have I given
The answers come from those who make
The rules that some of us must break
Just to keep living
I know my life is not a crime
I'm just a victim of my time
I stand defenceless
Nobody has the right to be
The judge of what is right for me
Tell me if you can
What make a man a man


Tell me if you can
Tell me if you can
Tell me if you can
What makes a man a man

Tonight i have the pleasure of seeing Prince again!! It his the last night of his 21 show run at the o2 Arena and i am sure he will pull out all the stops, a full review will be forthcoming!

Last night i went to see "The December Boys" starring Daniel Radcliffe, It was only ok, very little happened and the ending was just so cheesy i could actually hear the audience doing a collective sigh of "whatever".

THE IMAGINARY MEN OF PIPPY'S BOUDOIR

Back in the day before i got bored of Australian soaps, i used to run home from school everyday to catch a glimpse of this guy - He always put the hugest smile on my face, i used to sit on the couch secretly yearning for him! The joy of Oz soaps is that the men rarely wear tops they just parade around looking hot and dreamy!! This guy should have won an award for nailing that acting style, he played Shayne in Home and Away, its the divine Dieter Brummer






Have a great weekend, It's gonna be a beautiful night

xx

Bonjour!

Ooh i am feeling a bit frikkin french today. Last night i went to see "2 nights in Paris" with the lovely Paul and it was simply wonderful, Basically any film in Paris looks stunning, the director is lucky to have the opportunity to film on the world's most beautiful set. To prepare myself for seeing the film i finally got round to watching my box set of the films "Before Sunrise" and "Before Sunset starring Julie Delpy (who writes, directs and stars in 2 days in Paris) and the lovely Ethan Hawke. If you have not seen these 2 films, you have no excuse not to now - they are truly fantastic and reaffirmed my belief in the quest for true love.



Before Sunrise introduces the viewer to the characters - Jesse and Celine who meet on a train headed for Paris and decide to alight in Vienna walking round the streets, discussing love, life and relationships before giving into their feelings. The follow up film Before Sunset was released 10 years later where Jesse and Celine meet in Paris for the 1st time since Vienna and look back on who they were 10 years ago and how their lives and loves have changed their perspectives on everything apart from each other.




Two days in Paris follows a similar style except this looks at the breakdown of a 2 year relationship where all the faults of each partner are brought to light through interactions with friends, family and culture. Ending with a very clear and realistic analysis of the progression of a relationship by Delpy's character. These films will make you want to learn french, go to paris and spend hours walking and talking with the person you love, finding out what makes them tick, what makes them sick, what brings them to happy and what takes them away from sad.




On a lighter note there is a video on youtube at the moment that is making my friends laugh quite a lot, I think we can all agree that Britney needs some help in light of her recent troubles, i just didn't think the tough love would come from Miss Tyra Banks!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ylPqlrBoyRY

xx

The start of another week and it's really quite dreary today in London town! My mood has been affected by just eating salad for my lunch and now wishing i had lots of chocolate and a whole block of cheese to ram in my mouth!

The weekend was lots of fun though! Saturday i went to see "Atonement" with Camilla and i have to say it is by far one of the most amazing films i have seen a long time. Keira Knightley and James McAvoy are simply stunning and the direction is fantastic, it really is a beautiful film to watch and i found myself getting sucked into every scene, I cannot recommend it enough!

I then met up with my friend Dan for some serious chat about careers which was really helpful and i am now feeling very optimistic about what the future holds. Saturday night i went to Oliver's for some serious cocktails! I got very drunk and ended up lip synching to the power ballad "Alone" by Heart. I am praying that the videos will not end up on facebook! Had a really great night though and was lovely to see everyone.

Yesterday Tony, Anna, Clare, Glenn and Tony came over for drinks and pizza, Was not too wild though so at least i am not feeling majorly hungover today! This week is a poor week for me as it's pay day a week today so i am going to spend my nights using my unlimited cinema card to full effect.

Not much to report on today, hopefully life will be more entertaining tomorrow

Friday is here again and actually i am pleased to say this weekend has hopped, skipped and jumped by quite rapidly. Last night i had Ms Camilla over to my new pad which was lovely, showing off my culinary skills! (taking pizza out of wrapping, placing in the oven). I think she was slightly shocked this morning at how chipper i was, If i have the time in the morning i always watch a half hour comedy before i go to work - what better way to start the day than laughing? I refuse to listen to the radio in the morning, DJ's at that time of day seem to love the sound of their own voice and i always used to struggle to find a station that actually played any of that music stuff! Chris Moyles especially - he can eat pies in hell.

The genius of Facebook strikes again, I have put my birthday event on there and now have a clear idea of who is coming, who might be coming and who cant make it. How simply lovely. My birthday is not for a couple of months but i am a planner and these things need sorting. It's not going to be a massive celebration like last year as 31 does not have the same oompf as 30 but i am sure i shall get a little merry and you never know someone might even kiss me.

This weekend is looking jolly, tonight i am determined to have a quiet one so i am dragging my ass to the cinema, i still have yet to see "Atonement" so thats definitely on the agenda, i also quite fancy "3.10 to yuma" the new russell crowe/christian bale flick, "December Boys" with Daniel Radcliffe and just for laughs "Superbad" looks kinda funny in a guilty pleasure type way.

Tomorrow i am going to have a lazy day, may pop into town for a bit of window shopping and then tomorrow night am heading over to Oliver's for cocktails and to check out what west london has to offer by going to a local gay bar round there. Sunday i have my friends Tony and Anna coming over to the flat to check it out and then a nice spot of afternoon drinking.

Next week is super busy and stressy but at least i have Prince to look forward to next friday! It's the last show of his london residency and i think he will pull out all of the stops! i am not leaving that arena til i am sure he has finished, last night he was joined on stage by Elton John and then did an encore 15 minutes after the house lights came on so they are going to have to drag me out of there!!

THE IMAGINARY MEN OF PIPPY'S BOUDOIR

Last night we randomly watched the film "Parenthood" starring Steve Martin and Mary Steenburgen, i love it! I always forget that there is a pretty young Keanu Reeves in that film looking rather scrumptious throughout. When i was a young homo there was a monthly magazine called "SKY" - it was perfect for gay boys and had loads of great features but there as one issue in particular that often bought a tear to my eye for all the wrong reasons! Keanu Reeves ever so slightly naked!! i would spend ages gazing at those pics and since i am in a sharing, caring place i thought i better slap them on here so scroll and enjoy!




Someone needs to wipe my seat down!

xx

My head is spinning right round, round baby right round like a record baby right round round round!

What do you do if you have been in the same career for 14 years and feel like you don't want to do it anymore? This is not a question that i have the answer to and i dont think the solution is immediately forthcoming. I hate to say this but i am monumentily confused - should i have gone to university instead of getting all that voluntary work experience?, will i be laughed out of an interview for spending so much time working with the gays?

I sat at home last night in a slight, dithering panic - thinking that i was qualified for nothing that all the work i had done over the last few years and the projects i had been a part of would not be recognised in mainstream work. Thankfully that didn't last long - i do have skills, i can write well-ish, i am a good trainer, i have loads of experience working with groups and individuals, have organised conferences and seminars galore but i am still sat here simply thinking - what am i going to do? what will fulfill me? what will challenge me? I am very lucky in that i am not unemployed that there is no rush and at the moment work is exciting and the project i am developing will really make a difference - the main reason i got into this line of work.

I have to say this is such a bizarre time at the moment on loads of levels, the only area of my life that seems to be settled and shiny is my new home which at the moment is the love of my life, my friends as always are shining stars that brighen up my days, my lovelife is confusing and filling my head and heart with more questions than answers and that leaves my career - it's all a queer turn of events, my career has always been the rock in my life, i have always shown ambition and that is proven by the work i have done but where i go when i have achieved what i set out to do is the question that i am desperate for some clarity on.

This is a rant i should probably be having in my head but it helps to get it out in the open and see it in front of me. Cant believe i said yesterday that mormal service would be resumed on this blog shortly, not sure that is going to happen for a while!

More random shirt lifter mumblings to come

xx

It's always great news for me to hear that one of my friends is pregnant, it's getting to that time when some of my friends that i went to school with or met in my teens are hitting 30 and thinking about starting families. I always wonder what my mother's expectations are of me and my older brother - he shows no signs of wanting children and settling down and although i feel my life would not be complete without being a dad, it is not something i can think about right now. I am lucky that several of my friends have really great kids who i get to see on a regular basis so at least children are part of my life.

I was thinking when i was buying a paper on sunday afternoon, looking at the front pages and the amount of print, thought, speculation and money that has been spent on the case of Madeleine McCann. I was thinking about how hideous it is to spend so much time and effort on one child when so many more are suffering, blatantly suffering. No one knows whats happened to Madeleine but we are all so aware of what is going on elsewhere in the world, the children's faces that we ignore on the daytime tv donation adverts for Africa. The funds in the appeal to find Madeleine now stand at £1,036,104.17!! I wonder how many children that could help that have been orphaned in Africa due to their parents being infected with HIV, i wonder how many children could receive anti-retrovirals to help their immune systems aginst HIV infection.

In Africa, studies suggest that one in three newborns infected with HIV die before the age of one, over half die before reaching their second birthday, and most are dead before they are five years old. Conversely, in developed countries, preventive measures ensure that the transmission of HIV from mother to child is relatively rare, and in those cases where it does occur, a range of treatment options means that the child can survive – often into adulthood. This shows that with funding, trained staff and resources, the infections and deaths of many children in lower-income countries might easily be avoided. There are a huge amount of agencies and charities doing great work in Africa from providing treatment and care to delivering HIV prevention education to children and young people. There are loads of ways to get involved and it doesnt always have to involve cash.

www.worldvision.org.uk

www.savethechildren.org.uk

www.childrenincrisis.org.uk

So just think that instead of having a couple of pints after work or buying that next pack of marlboro lights just pop that money away and pledge it to one of these organisations. This may all seem a bit more serious than the usual frivolous nonsense but its an issue close to my heart and it should be close to yours too. We can't carry on pretending that this does not affect us. That's all.

I think homophobia is really ugly, It hurts me and offends me and even though i am still not watching TV i can't escape the fact that 80's (the last time he was even remotely regarded as entertaining) comedian Jim Davidson has been asked to leave the reality show "Hell's Kitchen" after making homophobic remarks towards fellow contestant and Big Brother winner Brian Dowling, I am glad to see that ITV have taken a stance against this - a lot more than the BBC seem to be able to do with such gay friendly presenters as Chris Moyles and Jeremy Clarkson. It may not seen a big thing that Davidson has been asked to leave but to me it sends out a clear message that homophobic language is never acceptable and should always be challenged.

So that's the end of the serious blog entry for today, normal service will be resumed shortly

xx

Great weekend!!

Friday night as per usual i went for drinks after work in Kings Cross which was lovely to just wind down! I was so going to go home and chill out but a phonecall and offer of a very cheap night out meant that i was getting changed and heading back to Kings Cross. I met up with Mike, Ali, Graham, Clarey etc for a great night called Alwayz Frydaze @ Egg, not sure what the music policy was but there was a fab live band, a really nice crowd and Egg is a great venue.

Saturday i went over to Clapton with Pete and Kaz to view a flat that Pete is considering buying, really nice place with loads of potential, Then headed to Angel to meet up with Dan, Danny and Oliver for the beginning of a great night, we piled back to my place and were joined by more gay boys for a huge amount of drinking before heading out to Soho where we briefly hit Escape Bar before mincing down to Heaven club next to Charing Cross, i usually avoid Heaven as it just gets so busy and is like a maze but i had a really good night with my girls, sadly i woke up on my sofa bed with dan and danny still fully clothed (i even still had my shoes on!) - why did i not get into my spacious double bed?? god knows!

Yesterday was a lazy day, the boys went back up north, i was going to head into town and maybe catch a film but decided that going home, grabbing a paper and lounging round the flat all day was a much better option.

Thankfully i feel rather sprightly for a monday, maybe it's because i saw this picture of Jake this morning and his overwhelming beauty has just lifted my day - i hope it has the same effect on you, (if your bread is buttered on that side)





This week is pretty busy and i am being quite the host at my flat with lovely people coing round to see me most nights this week, hopefully i shall save some money as i seem to have simply thrown my wage away this month!!

xx

It's been one of those weeks! Very busy and hectic, loads on my mind. Yesterday i had a job interview but sadly it was not to be. I thought i would be really bugged and upset but the only way i can look at it is that it was not meant to be and there is obviously a bigger and better plan out there for me. There will definitely be a change in career in the next year and i am going to spend the next few months going through my options and seeing what is out there. Fingers crossed!

This weekend marks the end of a rather tragic mullet laden era for Sheffield. I have often referred to the gay nightclub called Fuel in Sheffield with its car crash fashions and clientele that mainly looked like they took a "different bus to school". Well due to redevelopments in Sheffield and the owners of the club being total muppets, Fuel is closing its doors for the last time this saturday. There has been a rather bizarre turn of events though - up until a few years ago the whole of the gay scene in Sheffield was situated in a run down industrial area called Attercliffe. The main attraction being a gay club which went through many name changes but is probably best known as Planet - well in a couple of weeks that place is opening it's doors to the orange faced homo's of Sheffield - The Re-tardis has wrapped itself around the city and travelled back in time! ah well at least the hair and clothes will be in fashion!

This weekend is looking to be muchos funos! Yesterday it was my friend Danny's birthday so both him and Dan are coming down to London tomorrow for some drinking adventures which no doubt will include power mincing down old compton street and dancing to some cheesy poppy music!

Sunday is going to be lazy indeed, i shall no doubt be nursing a hangover but drinking more should sort that out, Iam also quite desperate for a cinema trip!! there are loads of great films out at the moment, the big buzz seems to be surrounding "Atonement" starring Keira *EAT SOMETHING!" Knightley and James "EAT ME!" McAvoy. The reviews are saying that Ms Knightley is amazing! i take it she has stopped acting like a rabbit caught in the headlights for this one then?

So anyway i may not have got a new job yesterday but at least it's friday and that means its time for.....

THE IMAGINARY MEN OF PIPPY'S BOUDOIR!

Carrying on from last weeks look at clasic men, this week i have gone for a guy who was the love of my life in the 80's even more so in the 90's but in the last few years he has turned into a bit of a twat. I cannot ignore the bizarre scientology, the jumping up and down on Oprah's sofa and the fact that despite all his money he seems to prefer living in a very small closet.

I cant help but love him for sliding across the floor in his shirt and tighty whities in "Risky Business", the tightness of his jeans in "Top Gun" or him stripping down to a rather well packed pair of y-fronts in "Magnolia" - he may be hobbit sized but i would not mind having a rather localised experience with him - it's Tom Cruise!





xxx

She's back!!!!

I am not sure why i am so excited but since reading in the Metro this morning that Amy Winehouse performed at the Mercury Music Awards last night i have been humming her little dittie's like a loon! I like many have been worried about Ms Winehouse, wanting to give her a big hug and a mug of tea - but last night she apparently delivered a legendary performance of her new single "Love is a losing game" - i hope this is the start of her getting back on stage and doing what i love her for.




The tube strike is off but is taking a while to get back to "normal" so London is still mental, Bus drivers are still dangerously closing doors on people, this morning my bus driver actually slammed the door shut as a woman with a pushchair was getting on - ya see, there is that hospitality this city is famous for.

I know this is going to make me sound so shallow that i could drown in a thimble but i am kinda wishing today that i was a Malawian social worker. Welfare officer Simon Chisale is coming over to stay with Madonna to assess her family's suitability for adopting baby David. He gets to stay with Madonna!! I can just imagine breakfast - Madonna stood over the stove with her hair in rollers and a ciggie hanging out of her gob shouting "do you want beans or tomatoes love!", clipping little Lourdes round the ear saying "shave that tache before you go to school missy", Guy in the living room watching Eastenders and praying for inspiration. Maybe it's not exactly like that but i think i have pretty much nailed it.

My severe hatred for Chanelle from Big Brother carries on, now she is on the front cover of one of those hideous lad's mags with her did's out! Classy! On the subject of those magazines like Zoo and Nuts, can someone tell men that it is not acceptable to read those in public as they are pretty much porn! i doubt the dribbling guy opposite me on the tube last week was reading an enthralling article about global warming and climate change, unless the climate change was in a bedroom in bermondsey and 2 girls were so hot that their nipples popped out of their shirts. Filth.

Due to bizarre reasons i have not watched TV for over a month now and the thing is i actually don't care. I have thrived on TV most of my life and come from the kind of family where conversation is limited but staring at the TV is common place. I am still managing to keep tabs on what is going on in the world and it's only happened a couple of times where people have been talking and i dont know what show they are on about. If only alcohol was as easy to give up i could be like a nun by the end of the year - well more like Whoopi Goldberg in "Sister Act" probably.

Anyways more inane ramblings to follow tomorrow

xx

Even though Big Brother is over, i am still being bombarded with interviews and pictures of these never will be's! I went to grab lunch today in Tesco and was confronted with the front of OK! magazine. Last week Chanelle (the Victoria Beckham wannabe worty of a mental health intervention and restraining order) was on the front of Heat magazine slagging off her plastic faced love partner in the house with a quote saying "Ziggy, you are dumped!", Today (just one week later) the bint is posing with Ziggy on the front of OK! Magazine in matching wedding outfits, sat on thrones! Am i the only one that thinks she is completely deluded, slightly schizophrenic with a scary sideline in obsessive compulsive disorder?

I beg Channel 4 to take Big Brother off our screens, I just don't need to go through this hatred every year. What message are we sending out to young people when not knowing who Shakespeare is and generally being pretty dumb gets you £100,000. Oh i know what people will say, "his heart was in the right place" - thats all good and well but his brain was up his ass!

London has gone stupid this week with the tubes being on strike, People have turned into mad bus hugging fiends, pushing and shoving their way on and off, cramming themselves between a sweaty guys armpit. It amazes me just how lazy people can get. London really is not as big as most people think and you can walk to most places, the joy of this is that you also get to see this fantastic city and get to know new places, it aint like it's raining this week, just leave that little bit earlier and get a bit of exercise.

xx

Well heteros and homo's and bi's - hope your weekends were full of sweaty, dirty, hairpulling sex or failing that i at least hope you had a nice time. My weekend was lovely, had a gorgeous meal on friday night with some great friends, Saturday was a mish mash of meeting friends and drinking, lovely to see dan, paul and clare and then yesterday i went to see "Knocked Up" which is really good and was a perfect way to spend a sunday afternoon.

This evening i am off to see my friends band the Sniffle Brothers in their last gig for a while at the comedy pub in Leicester Square - always a guaranteed good night out. This week is rather busy all culminating in a rather big deal of a situation on thursday morning but there is very little i can say about that at the moment.

I was reading Attitude magazine yesterday and there was a really interesting article on the new fad of gay men leaving behind the muscle mary look and hurtling towards the size zero look. It is very noticeable that the trends in gay soho have changed quite radically over the last year especially with the gay boys frequenting trash palace, retro bar, popstarz and ghetto (my kinda places). The skinny jeans have been out in force hanging off harmful looking hip bones, off the shoulder t shirts that show off those jutting bones. I have always been a bit of a skinny queen and have always liked that fact, turning 30 and still indulging in my love of lager has meant that a belly has appeared of late.

I have now found myself being totally unreasonable and turning into the kind of gay man that i hate. I recently tried on a pair of 30" waist skinny jeans and they would not fasten, i nearly cried! immediately throwing myself to the floor, flailing around trying to do sit ups to hack off the fat. It is not the end of the world to have a bit of chunk around the waist or that bizarre area at the base of the back that seems to get fatter than anywhere else (back boobs is the delightful name i heard for that area this weekend). Life goes on and that body of mine is changing, it may take a while to come to terms with not being able to starve myself and look waif like but maybe i should step aside and let the young ones through, laughing to myself on the inside that they have all these thoughts to come.

Now i apologise in advance to any heterosexual men or anyone else that is not too keen on near naked men popping up on this blog but i just found this picture of my dream man Danny Dyer and had to share it, i actually did an audible Phwoar!! when i saw it - now where did i put that wet wipe?




xx